"Camila Cabello, how many girls it that, 5. Five freaken girls want to take you to prom and you say no to all of them"
"Like I said to all of them, I don't think I'm going"
"Bullshit Camila. You haven't looked at a girl since Lauren broke your heart. These hotties line up to get a piece of this Camila action but all you do is turn them down without even giving them a chance. You don't associate with anyone who is female. No but guys you're all over and play them like toys. You stop before it gets too serious, so really we know what this is about. It's about Lauren"
I just looked at her because she's right, everything she said was right and I never really told her how I feel. I guess a best friend knows you better then you know yourself. I have avoided females in general because everyone reminds me of her and in some way I feel like if I get involved with anyone my heart will break again and I can't have that. Not this year. If I kiss anyone else, maybe I'll forget what her lips taste like.
Small tears fall from my eyes "I love her so much I can't"
She apologized and just held me. We didn't talk much after. I think she got the idea that it was a touchy subject. It always is when it comes to Lauren.
Prom is less than 3 weeks away and if that isn't stressful enough having Dinah on my back always reminding me that every senior should experience prom. According to her we will have a great time and out chance to finally be stress free from school.
However Prom is the least of my concerns, its 2 weeks until we commitment day at the universities across the Nation. I narrowed it down to my top 3 schools but it's hard to pick when everything is a big factor when it comes to choosing.
It was free period, Dinah and I always meet up during this time. "So, only 2 weeks, have you decided? I get that it's hard to pick when all these badass schools accept you. I mean you got the entire University of California system that accepted you, not to mention NYU and University of Florida"
There Dinah goes again with her annoying questions. "It is hard okay, each school has something I want. Except UC Santa Barbra I mean it's a good school and by the beach, which is like good for the college experience but idk, I didn't really care for it"
"Then why did you apply?"
"I meant to apply to UCLA the other schools I got a waver to apply for, I don't know" Secretly I wished I knew where Lauren went, it would make life easier. It will help me pick schools so much more. I'm so hurt but my heart longs for her.
Honestly I want to go to the University of Florida, stay here close to home and a school that I love. But I cannot get rid of my last memory of Lauren. The last thing I remember was the conversation with her neighbor, they said she was going to school out of state. That is why I haven't committed to University of Florida. Because I know for a fact she isn't there. I like to think that if our love is always forever and it will bring me back to her. Hopefully before it's too late. I love her.
I put so much time and effort into high school this past year, even before Lauren, I get to go to any school I basically applied for, then why is this so hard?
Going home and seriously thinking about what schools I need to rule out. I got a quick snack from the kitchen greeting my mother before walking up to my room. On my desk I see a semi big envelope on my desk. That is what my mom mentioned. It's like a packet, from UC Santa Barbara.
Opening it I was nervous, I'm not sure why but I was worried I would be denied? No not that. Trying to ignore the feeling I opened it and inside was a beautiful map of the campus a couple stickers, a letter and a flyer. The flyer was describing a 2-day event at the school to show school pride. Everything even food and room is provided, but there is a travel/flight waver.
Hmm Only 50 students were invited. They get the top interested students who have not committed. Something about a California program to get more students to go to school out of state and into California. Interesting and... ITS NEXT WEEKEND!? Well yeah right, commitment day is soon.
An hour later after hard core researching prices, flight waver, times, and dates the final conclusion was, maybe I should go. I'm not even interested but maybe I will like it, I heard nothing but good things of this school. It's in the top #40 schools nationwide, beats University of Florida. I owe it an opportunity I guess.
"Thank you mom so much for the opportunity" I hugged her.
I'm so glad my parents decided to let me go. I understand it's in another state and the cost was hardly anything because they know it's a great opportunity. Took lots of convincing. Although they were understanding that this is a school I am interested.
"Claro mija, If it's meant to be it will be, ok carino"
This is like the thousand time they said it "Things happen for a reason, if it's meant to be, it will be" I think they were just trying to say I will know when I like the school. Too feel it in my gut what the right choice is.
Going to be a long flight, but I'm excited and nervous. I'm not sure what to expect. All I hope for is to get a sign, good or bad, just so I can finally make a decision. Well here goes nothing, University of Santa Barbra here I come.