A/N: This is quite a long chapter because I combined two of them. Oh and my favorite person in the world comes into the story at this point :) enjoy!
I was freezing.
I had been aimlessly walking around the lone streets of Kingsville for about an hour and a half now, and I couldn’t even feel my toes anymore.
But the cold I was feeling on the outside was nothing compared to the chills that had settled in on my heart.
My entire existence on this godforsaken planet was pointless. How did I not see it before now? Not a single person would miss me if I were to simply disappear. I mean my own family hates me. I probably wouldn’t have a proper funeral.
Wait, funeral? I stopped in my tracks. I hadn’t been thinking about death before, just sort of…leaving. Going off the grid, vanishing.
But now that I think about it…death happens to everyone, right? It’s unavoidable. You live, and then you die. Fade away. Leave this earth and make room for someone else.
And since my entire life has absolutely no point to it, why not speed up the process?
My hands were stuffed into my pockets as I stared at the ground with each step, snow lightly falling around me.
Wait, think rationally Carter. I thought to myself. This is suicide we’re talking about, be logical.
Right, right okay. Logical, that’s good thinking. I want to be smart about this.
Okay, will anyone miss me?
Maybe my neighbor, Miss Radley. But I’m sure she can find someone else to borrow sugar from she is a lovable old lady after all.
Will my dying hurt anyone else?
Well my English professor might get annoyed when he grades a 12 page paper for a dead person, but he’s a prick anyway so it’s whatever.
Will I be leaving anything behind?
Honestly no. I have nothing, no one. No joy, no passion. My life has no meaning to it. Nothing matters to me and I don’t matter to anyone else, so…
Why not kill myself?
I glanced up from the ground when I felt the surface beneath my feet change texture. As I looked around, I realized I was on Teller’s Bridge.
The bridge was rarely used anymore since the city built the main road through town that connects to the Interstate, deeming the bridge an unnecessary route. It looked pretty creepy and abandoned actually, especially with the dim street lights and snowfall this late at night - or early in the morning I should say.
I started to walk down the road of the empty bridge, glancing over the side railing at the dark rushing waters of the river below.
I couldn’t help but think that The Universe must have some sick and twisted sense of humor to lead me here. Or maybe it was just life’s cruel way of saying, ‘Yeah Carter, go ahead, kill yourself. You're already here, might as well do it.’
Seriously though, ending up at an abandoned bridge with a high enough drop to kill you? It was a sign.
The bridge seemed to be just over a quarter mile long, and I figured if I was going to jump, I should do it from the middle of the bridge to make sure I hit the deepest part of the river. That’s smart, right? Because I want to be smart about this.