Chapter 36 - Doubts

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"Oh..." She said under her breath, looking away from me. I wanted her to be more vocal right now. I needed to hear her say something more than that. But I understood where she was coming from. Knowing very well her personality, it wasn't that much of a shock to see her act this way. I just wanted her to be the way she was last night.The last thing I'd want was for her to be afraid of me.

"Lia, listen." I said, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes again. It brought me solace when she didn't resist. "This... is real for me. I blame myself for not realising it soon enough. I just hope I'm not too late."

"Did... did you mean what you said to me?" She asked. "Last night..." I could've sworn I saw her cheeks flush.

I had told her I loved her. I wouldn't blurt something I didn't mean. But I wasn't sure what love was. I'd always considered it to be an overrated, commercialised thing. I might have a contradicting view of it now.

"Course I did. I do." I answered. I had never imagined myself to be in a position like this - consoling a crying girl, telling her I loved her and actually meaning it. Harry, where have you gone?

Thalia expelled a sigh and rubbed her face, the oversized dress shirt slipping down her right shoulder. My gaze propelled towards the exposed skin, eventhough I forced myself to look away. This wasn't the right time to be ogling but I couldn't resist.

I was reminded of how her skin had been so soft under my touch, her lips too. Just everything about her screamed delicate. It was that trait she possessed that drew me in, that rare trait. I didn't dare to dwell on her past. Her fate had probably been similar to that of my mother's. Filthy men calling her names, getting harassed and etcetera. I wouldn't let any of that happen to her again.

"I don't know anymore." Her hands dropped to her knees. "I'm so lost."

"I'll figure out something." I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. If I wanted Thalia with me, a lot of changes would have to be made. I would be in for a major turn of events. The engagement had escaped my thoughts. I had been unfaithful to girls before and sometimes guilt would creep up to sting me but right now, that wasn't the case. The only thing I was worried about was facing my dad. 


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Thalia's POV

Harry had left me to get ready. Many uncertainties and doubts still lingered and I needed him to get rid of them. I didn't know where we were about to go with this but I was aware that whatever that was coming up wasn't going to be something that could be easily accomplished. Why was I putting myself through this?

The contract was over and I was free to go home and move on with my life. This was what I had been anticipating, all that I had been looking forward to. But then there was Harry. Oh, Harry.

Besides the torturous guilt that was coiled up in me, another form of discomfort was being a bother. It still hurt down there and I still didn't know if it was a normal aftermath. I had hinted at it but I was too embarrassed to actually ask Harry about it. Yes, it was strange to still be ashamed of these things after what we had done but it couldn't be helped.


Once I had tidied myself up, I strolled out to the bed and perched myself on the foot of it. I waited for Harry to return from getting vehicle aid. I found myself pressing my hands along the wrinkled sheets of the bed... and I was bombarded with flashes of what had happened last night.


I felt my cheeks heat up as the scenes played in my head so clearly. I was reminded of how much I loved him. And the fact that he felt the same way about me caused my insides to flutter. I still couldn't really wrap my mind around it, as it was something so unlikely. Tears welled up in me and I struggled to contain them. Last night had quite the impact on me and just thinking about it got me emotional.


Harry returned about half an hour later, keys clutched in his hand as he held the door open. "Ready?"

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