I sighed, pressing the 'submit essay' button on my computer screen. It took me five hours to type up that research paper last minute, but whatever. It certainly wasn't the first time, nor will be it be the last time.
I checked the time on my phone and sighed. It was 2 in the morning on a Tuesday night - or I should say Wednesday morning. Great, that meant I would be getting 15 points deducted from my paper because it was due at midnight. Oh well. Better late than never.
I glanced out the window and saw that - yet again - it was snowing. Nights here in Kingsville were always bleary but the snow just made it even worse for me.
I was used to the cold, having lived in England all my life, but that didn't mean I had to like it. And I most certainly did not.
Sighing, I closed my computer and stood up. I winced when my back popped several times. I should really see a chiropractor about that but right now I'm just glad I have enough money to keep the heat on in my apartment since this winter has been so cold.
I padded over to my iHome and plugged in my phone, starting my 'Favorites' playlist on shuffle. I smiled to myself when Counting Stars by OneRepublic came on. I wasn't typically one for mainstream music, but that song was most definitely a favorite of mine.
I made my way into the kitchen and pulled out a bag of pretzels followed by my always handy jar of nutella. I hopped up on the counter and flinched when the cold tile hit my bare thighs from my short pajama shorts.
As I looked around my small apartment, I sighed. This was my life, at 20 years old. Sitting in my empty flat at midnight, eating pretzels and nutella, taking Uni classes online as a philosophy major because I have absolutely no clue what the rest of my life holds.
I waitress at a local restaurant that helps pay the bills, I have some semi-close acquaintances that I could call to go out on a Friday night if I wanted to, but therein lies the problem: I have no desire to go out on Friday nights, or any other day of the week for that matter.
Because I hate everyone.
I stuck another pretzel in my mouth as I furrowed my brow, thinking.
What's wrong with me? I'm 20 years old, I'm at the prime of my life you could say. Yet I haven't done anything significant. In fact, now that I think about it, I've done jack shit. My only semi decent quality is that I make people laugh a lot. But that's because people think that my 'dry wit' is clever, when actually I'm just masking my disdain for everyone with sarcasm.
Because again, I hate everyone.
I mean, I'm not ugly. I'm actually okay to look at. My hair is thin and blonde, shoulder length. It's I don't have to wear tons of makeup, nor do I ever want to. But I also don't go gallavanting without anything on my face. My teeth are straight, I'm at a normal weight, my boobs are still perky, all that jazz.
I'm just...different though. Something is wrong with me, I can feel it. I'm not like everyone else, and not in a good way. Nothing brings me joy, I never have anything to smile about. It's not like my life sucks, it's a good life.
I just don't like it.
There's nothing going for me, I'm not contributing anything to society and at this rate, I doubt I ever will.
I set the jar of nutella down on my counter and walked into the hallway of my flat that connects the living room to my bedroom. A small, circular mirror was hung up on the wall and I stepped in front of it.
Staring at my reflection, I cocked my head to the side. Yep, same old me. Hazel eyes with some green flecks thrown in there. Kind of stringy hair, but it works for me - gives me that cute boho chic look I read about in Cosmo. And of course my still perky boobs. I was pretty.
But why do I seem so...lifeless?
My eyes, they don't shine like normal people's do. They're dull, with no life at all.
I'm such a nothing. A nobody. I'm a body taking up space, and at this rate that's all I will ever be.
Suddenly I started to feel dizzy, and the walls seemed to be closing in on me. I'm nothing, my entire existence is pointless. Why am I even here?
I started to breathe heavy, not being able to catch my breath. My heart was pounding and I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. How did my night go from the same old, same old to a terrible epiphany in a matter of minutes? And why haven't I realized this about myself before now?
I ran to my room and hastily changed into a pair of jeans and a thick sweater, pulling a pair of boots on as quickly as I could.
I burst out of my room, almost sprinting to my front door. I jerked a grey beanie off the coat rack, just barely grabbing my apartment keys before storming out the door.
I had no idea where I was going, or what I was going to do. But I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach that I shouldn't have even bothered to grab my keys.
Because I wasn't planning on coming back.
I know it's short, I'm sorry, but I just had to introduce the main character to you guys! If you're confused right now, DON'T BE. It will all make sense soon :) And a special someone will be coming up in the next chapter and I THINK you know who it is.
Please vote and comment! The next chapter will be much longer :)
Oh and btw, Kingsville is just a random small town I made up that's set in England. In case you were wondering. Which you probably weren't. Love you all!