I touched her. Was I supposed to do that? I've never really done that. It felt strange. We hate each other, right? We depend on each other for leadership, but outside of that, we hate each other. I shouldn't have touched her. It made it seem like our getting along was real.
I shake my head of the thought and my mind wanders back to the Ark. Everyone's kind of sitting around, waiting for some sort of sign that we had saved those people. I'm in my tent because I can't be out there with everyone else. The tension is too much, especially knowing that I caused it.
Suddenly, Clarke bursts into my tent and I jump up from my bed. Her watching me lay there feels too intimate.
"It didn't work," she says quietly.
I avoid her eyes. "I'm sorry, Clarke." I soften my voice to try and sound comforting, but I don't think it works.
She sniffles then raises her head. "Maybe they saw it, but it was too late. Either way, Raven's working on the radio. It's not going to happen again."
I don't say anything.
"We did everything we could, Bellamy," she says, and I get the courage to meet her gaze. She looks so sad. "Now, I think we should go back to the bunker, and discuss those rules." I must look scared, because she adds, "I'm not going to punish you for this. It's over, we have to move on."
Bellamy and I walk to the bunker in silence. I don't know what to say to him. I don't forgive him, but I have to try. He's Bellamy.
"Help me with the hatch," I tell him, starting to lift it. His hand wraps around the handle next to me, and his skin brushes mine. I try to avoid thinking about how my throat tightens and my heart speeds up.
I climb down the ladder and see that the candles are already lit. I spin around and my eyes widen.
Raven and Finn are curled together, naked under the blanket, in the bed. Finn's face becomes horrified, but Raven looks like she doesn't care at all.
Bellamy appears next to me and sees them, too. I'm too shocked for words, and he sees that, so he starts talking.
"We were just coming here to work out some laws," he states, matter-of-factly. "We can-"
"Raven, why aren't you working on the radio?" I suddenly ask, interrupting Bellamy.
"Finn and I came here to get some spare parts for the radio, and well... I haven't seen him..." Raven rambles, giggling, as if her answer is acceptable.
"Did you find the spare parts?" I ask, trying to stay calm.
"Yup," Raven replies.
"Then go fix the radio before another three hundred people die," I tell her.
Bellamy and I turn around while the two of them get dressed. I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing that this is just a nightmare. As if I hadn't been hurt before this whole thing. With everything that's already happened, I don't need this.
Suddenly, Raven cuts between Bellamy and I, trying to get to the ladder. She climbs up it without saying a word.
I turn around to face Finn, as Bellamy walks to the table.
"I thought this was our place," I say to Finn, plastering on a sad smile.
"Clarke, we came to get spare parts," he says, the look in his eyes begging for me to forgive him. When it doesn't look like I'm going to, he adds, "Besides, you brought Bellamy."
It was a weak response, an easy way out. "Except I'm not going to sleep with him," I remark, seeing Bellamy's head turn out of the corner of my eye.
"Clarke, what do you want me to do?" Finn asks.
"Nothing. Just leave me alone," I say, ripping my eyes from his.
He stands there for a moment before climbing up the ladder and leaving Bellamy and me.
"Want to tell me what's going on?" Bellamy asks, sitting down at the table.
"It's not important," I say dismissively, sitting down next to him.
He doesn't look like he believes me but he says, "Okay. Then let's get started."