Head Above Water

27. Well Loved

She looked at me for a second longer before bursting into tears. I smiled sadly at her, but was thankfully able to hold my own tears back. I’d cried enough over the past week. I opened my arms to Jill and she came over to throw her arms around my waist and bury her head in my chest. It was an awkward side hug because of the way I was sitting, but we both needed it.

The three of us sat there for a long time, me comforting a sobbing Jillian while Connor just watched us sadly. Eventually I shook her lightly to get her attention. “Hey, why don’t we pull an all-nighter?” I asked her. “Just hang out, watch a movie marathon, eat tons of junk food?”

I watched her tear-stained face as she considered my proposal. She nodded, looking much like a little girl accepting a bribe from her parents to stop crying.

“Good!” I chirped. “Let me just tell my mom what’s up.” I stood up to go find her.

“You should invite Mark and Rick,” Jill chimed in, sounding a tad more cheerful. “So you have everyone here,” she trailed off in a subdued tone. I knew what she’d been thinking. So I could spend time with everyone I cared about.

I nodded and smiled at her, trying to bring her mood back up. I wanted tonight to be carefree and relaxing, not sad. “Good idea. Connor, you mind calling Rick?” I asked.

He was already pulling his phone from his pocket. “Sure.”

I headed to my mom’s room and found her sitting at her small desk typing away on her laptop. She’d been spending all of her time when she wasn’t with me researching my type of tumor. I think she knew it was pointless, but she needed to do something to keep her busy.

I poked my head into the room. “Hey mom?”

“Yeah?” she looked up with a worried expression. It was one of only two faces she wore now—that and sad.

“We decided to pull an all-nighter,” I informed her.

I was happy to see her smile slightly. “That sounds like a good idea. You want me to go pick up some junk food?”

“Have I told you recently that you’re an awesome mom?”

Her smile warmed, but it still didn’t completely erase the sadness. “Not recently.”

I went over and put my arms around her shoulders, hugging her from behind. “Well you’re the best.”

She rested her hands on my forearms and I held on for a moment longer. “I love you, sweetpea,” she whispered.

Yet again, a tidal wave of tears threatened to burst from my eyes. Somehow I held it back, but it actually hurt to speak past the tightness in my throat. “Love you, too.”

I pulled away and we both took a few deep breaths as if to clear the heaviness in the air.

“Are you going to invite Malcolm?” she asked.

“Yeah, and another friend from school. Do you mind?”

“Of course not. Invite anyone you want.” She grabbed a pen and paper from the side of her desk. “Let me make sure I get the right stuff. Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked, Häagen Dazs Coffee,” she looked up at me questioningly and I nodded in confirmation. “Salt & Vinegar Pringles, the red Doritos, Milk Duds, Reese’s Cups—“

“The big ones,” I interjected and she nodded.

“Kettle Corn, Ginger Ale, Dr. Pepper…anything else?”

I smiled. My mom really was awesome. She knew all of my favorites. Admittedly she wouldn’t normally let me have all of them at once, but this was a unique circumstance.