RUINED ; JOSHLER

:.:.TWELVE.:.:

tyler spent the walk to school in a mix of silence and gagging as he did his best not to puke.
he would just let himself throw up so he didn't have to go to school, but that would mean going back "home" and tyler didn't think he could handle that.

as he approached the school, tyler could see pete and brendon standing by the front entrance.
he did his best to sneak by them but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
tyler surprises himself by flinching, and apparently it surprised pete too, as he pulled his hand back immediately with a gasp.

"dude what's been up with you lately? are you okay?"
"i'm f-fine, i j-ust haven't been s-sleeping much," tyler's voice betrays him and pete sees straight through him to his very core.

"tyler your stutter is coming back, you haven't had a stutter since second grade man, what happened?"

tyler freezes and his eyes widen as he's taken back to second grade, arguably the worst year of his life.

"dad?" seven year old tyler asks his father as he sits at his desk, tyler is sitting on the floor with a coloring book.

"yes tyler?"
"why can't boys like boys?"
"because it's wrong."
"why?"

tyler's father stands up to crouch in front of tyler and grabs his ear harshly.
"because i said so." he spits and after gripping his ear even tighter, pulls tyler up and drags him into the hallway.

"you're going to stay in here until i think you've learned your lesson." and with that tyler is pushed into the dark hall closet and the door is locked behind him.

immediately tyler begins to bang on the closet door. the last time his dad locked him in here, he wasn't allowed out for two whole days. panic begins to fill tyler's small frame and into his voice as he bangs on the door harder.

"d-dad p-lease i'm s-sorry!" but his pleads fall on deaf ears.

tyler sinks onto the floor with his head resting against the unforgiving wood of the door. his hands scratch at the wood and his sobs become louder until his nails bleed and they leave indents in the dark wood.

"tyler? hello?" tyler is brought back to the real world by pete's concerned voice and worry filled face.

"s-sorry," tyler replies his voice barley a whisper.
pete goes to run a hand through his hair and tyler flinches. pete freezes a gasp on his lips as tyler peels his eyes open from their clamped position.

tyler feels his breaths get shaky and his legs begin to quiver.

"i ha-have to g-go" tyler says between breaths and runs through the school doors before pete or brendon could say anything to stop him.

:.:....:::.:..:.

tyler walks in late to first period to avoid pete and brendon's questions.

"tyler do you have a late pass?" mrs.wilson asks.
"no ma'am."
she frowns but tells him to take a seat anyway.

"as i was saying class, we're on PSA schedule today which means in first period instead of doing our normal lesson, we're going to be discussing a topic on the health and safety of students. this months PSA will be on signs of child abuse,"
tyler freezes and swallows heavily but doesn't say anything.

"because so many of you babysit young children, it's important to know the signs of child abuse, as well as being able to recognize signs in someone your age." mrs.wilson continues and pulls down the projector screen. 

when the first picture of a closet door appears on the screen, tyler tenses. he can feel josh and pete's eyes on him but he does his best to stay in control.

"often times children are locked in things like closets as an extreme form of time-outs. children are sometimes locked in for days at a time with no food or water and are not allowed out to use the restroom."

tyler can feel his hands start to shake as he remembers more and more of the times he was locked in that dreadful closet for days on end and he's barely able to control his breathing.

"moving on to physical abuse, children are often hit as an extreme form of discipline..." tyler tunes out as more flash backs come. most consisting of his father slapping him and then moving on to harsher beatings.

"and finally before we move on to signs, sexual abuse-" tyler immediately stands, so powerfully that he knocks his chair back, and rushes to the trash can, where he throws up the little food and water he's had in the past few days.

once he's finished tyler collapses onto the floor and everything goes black. his hope of keeping his dark secret ruined.