Chapter 2

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I walked down the cold narrow streets of Chicago and daydreamed. Daydreamed about my mother, I knew she had to be pretty, probably real beautiful like Beyoncé or Ashanti. That explains why she gave me up, because I'm so ugly.

I dreamed about us dancing together, having a happy life. Taking me shopping and singing to me, telling me I was beautiful, and saying she'd loved me. All the things I never heard. "Get yo fat ass out the road". I was taking out of my thoughts by my crush, Rodkevious throwing something heavy at the back of me head.

I looked back at him and turned around very quickly. I've had a crush on him forever. He's a sophomore and a star basketball player. He was gorgeous he was tall around 6'0 and masculine, light skin toned body, a trimmed and edged low cut curly hair, tattoos on his forearms, bright pink lips and a beautiful smile.

I've thought about us being together, but I know I'll never have a chance. He's popular, sexy and a star basketball player. I'm fat, smell like shit, bout bald headed, and ugly. What are my chances of getting with him? No chance at all!

Him and his friends were quiet behind me, to quiet. I began to get nervous and started to speed up. I heard a few laughs behind me followed by Rodkevious telling them 'shhhh'. Now I knew they were definitely laughing at me.

It got quiet again, and me being heavy set, speeding up my pace made me tired, my breathing increased and my chest hurt from the cold wind invading my lungs. I slowed down and before I knew it I was face to face with the cold black road.

I listened to them laugh histarically and began to cry. Face full of rocks and tears. I wasn't worth nothing. The boy I was in love with pushed me down and took and made my pain into comedy for him and his boys. Didn't give a shit on how I made feel about it, nothing.

He just wanted a quick laugh, before he went to school. They still were laughing, and my heart still ached from what just happened. "Ion think she can get up Rod". One of the boys said. "Nah, she probably dead, all that damn fat smothered her". Rodkevious spoke.

I couldn't believe the shit I was hearing. Don't they know I have feelings? I just wanted to be like everybody else. Have friends and be popular. You think I chose to be fat? Newsflash I didn't. I ate to solve my problems. I've been depressed all my life.

The laughs began to fade away, but I could still hear them as they walked away. I tumbled over and struggled off the cold ground and walked the rest of the way to Richmond High.


The halls were partially clear, and I could tell class had already started. I moved slowly down the hall and made it to first period. I sat in the back of the class and sat my head down. I heard laughter and didn't sit up. I just listened.

"Rodkevious dumb ass pushed her and made her fat ass fall, that shit was so damn funny". I couldn't take it. I was fed up with everybody talking down on me like I'm not even in the room. The shit was just disrespectful. It hurt my damn heart, I've taken insults from everybody, all the damn days of my life. I don't see a point of living.

"Shut the fuck up". I finally spoke up, finally standing up for my self, and it felt damn good too. "What the fuck yo say"? He asked turning towards my direction. "I said shut the fuck up, you know I can hear you, right"? I said.

"Bitch, I dint give a fuck if yo fat ass could hear me-". "Mr. Davis, be quiet". My teacher, Mr.Raymos said. "Nah, bruh her fat ass getting smart and shit, fuck her fat ass". "MR.DAVIS, that's enough". He said with tight lips.

I looked at him, with teary eyes, I can't bare the heart ache I felt. Everyone was laughing at me, and I just sat there hopeless. "Settle down class". Mr. Raymos yelled over the bickering students. The laughter rung in my ears. I couldn't take it.

I clenched my math book tightly in my hands, stood up and swung right at the back of his head, making him fall form his chair. "Say something else bitch". I said storming out. I knocked him out, his body laid on the floor lifeless. I didn't give a fuck.

I didn't deserve to be treated like this, why did everybody hate me? I was always nice to people. I slammed the class door behind me and ran down the hall, yes I ran. I heard a voice call out behind me. "Hey, stop". She said. I kept running, whipping my tears, not looking back.

The girl caught up with me, and stopped me. "I'm sorry that had to happen". She said with concerned eyes."he wrong as hell for that".

I dried my tears and tried not to sob. "I'm, Lashay, what's your name, I ain't hear to hurt you or nun, I understand how you feel". She said. "You'n know how I feel, look at you, you don't get talked about for what you look like, you ain't fat like me". I said.

"I do know how you feel. I used to be you, I'm trying to be a friend to you, keep your head up, it'll get better in the end, I was you, given up at birth dealing with a fuck up ass foster mother, who said I was stupid, fat, and I'd never amount to nothing, well I proved her wrong, along with everybody else, and you can too". She said.

She was me, if she can do I can too. She did understand my pain. I thought I was in this world alone. I do need her ass a friend. So why not.

"I'm Janelle". I said. She smiled and escorted me to a near restroom and cleaned my face. I actually felt safe and secure. I dint know these type of people existed.

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