I didn't know she was an artist. For some reason, the thought keeps playing over in my mind as I head back to camp. I realize there are a lot I don't know about her. I don't know why she was arrested, why she's so strict about doing the right thing, why she's so attached to Finn. She doesn't know much about me, either, I supppose. She doesn't know I was going to be on the guard, that I became a janitor, or that I shot the Chancellor to get to the ground. Those aren't things we talk about.
She probably talks about things like that with Finn. After all, they have their own secret getaway. I'm jealous or anything, but her thing with him is definitely a distraction, and we really don't need that.
When I get back to camp, everything is fine, as if the whole Murphy thing hadn't happened. I wish I had insisted on staying with Clarke. She can handle just about anything, but her being alone in a bunker in the woods made me feel... sad, almost. Uncomfortable. Like I'm a bad leader, or a bad friend.
But we're not friends. No. She hates me. So we're not friends. If she didn't hate me, maybe we would be. But I don't really like her, either. So we're not friends. Simple.
I don't really have many friends down here, so much as henchmen. Octavia is eternally annoyed at me for having her under constant protection, but I just don't want anything to happen to her. Murphy, the only other friend-like person I had, went off the rails, so I'm mostly alone now.
I go back to my tent, where a girl who had slept over last night is waiting. Even though I promised her she could stay here again tonight, I kick her out. I don't feel like being with anyone, not when Clarke's out in that bunker.
Taking off my shirt, I collapse onto my bed. I can't stop thinking about her, alone out there.
I fall asleep, eventually, but my sleep is light and I wake up a lot. When it's about sunrise, I decide to stop pretending to sleep, and head outside, to maybe find Clarke. Yes, that sounds like a good idea. I'll go find Clarke.
I throw my shirt back on, and walk outside. Everyone in camp is still asleep, so I sneak out the gate. Just as I'm leaving, I see something huge flying through the sky. It looks like another drop ship.
I abandon my idea of going to get Clarke and trek towards the drop ship instead. There's probably not anyone in it, just supplies and a way to contact the Ark. I can't let that happen. Everyone here would find out what I did, and the people of the Ark would come down. I would be killed.
The drop ship isn't far away. I peer in, and find a girl, my age or so, sitting in the control zone. It looks like she's dead. But I'm not here for her, I'm here for the radio. So I snatch it, disconnect it from the wires, and run off.
I have to get rid of it. I go to the river and trying not to doubt myself, I throw it in the water. I know it's selfish, of course I do. But I don't have a choice. It's part of my survival.
This was a shorter chapter but we finally got to see Bellamy's point of view. I hope you liked that, please vote! Thank you guys so much!