One day, the twelve signs to find a mistletoe hanging from the entrance to the kitchen. Who put it there?
Taurus: Ugh, great. We can't even eat on Christmas Day! I'm not kissing any of you, you all smell.
Pisces: I'm too full off of Christmas Eve dinner to even eat, though.
Virgo: Wait have we always lived in the same house or
Sagittarius: Calm down, It's not that hard. One person goes into the kitchen at a time.
Aires: ME FIRST
Capricorn: No way, we're going to do it in the order of most mature, responsible, and physically attractive. So get to the back, Aires.
Capricorn: BESIDES ITS MY BIRTHDAY SEASON
Scorpio: I bet Capricorn craves that mineral for their birthday season. --laughs-- Oh I'm so funny
Virgo: --trying hard not to strangle Scorpio--
Libra: No one cares about you Capricorn.
Gemini: --mutters-- You dumb earth signs.
Gemini, Libra, & Aquarius: Air sign bros before earth sign hoes
Aquarius: --stands next to Leo-- OH wait. Well, I tie with Leo for maturity and hotness, So, um, Leo, wanna just... go in together? Oh, but we'll be under the mistletoe- HA HA, what a coincidence, ha, Leo, I suppose we just have to make out, ha ha, I love you, I love you so much, please
Leo: gOTTA go fast
Libra: Why don't we just all squeeze in and give everyone a great, big, happy holiday kiss?
Pisces: Spread the love! <3
Virgo: Hey guys, you know we don't HAVE to kiss right?
Aires: What the hell, Virgo? I never knew you were one to break the rules, especially on Christmas day! Show some respect for traditions!!
Leo: Shame on you, Virgo.
Taurus: Guys, I'm just gonna go in, I'm really hungry...
Gemini: WTF NO! We have to do it in order!
Aires: Taurus can join me in the back :(
Pisces: Okay, guess I'm in front!
Libra: This isn't the time for cracking jokes, dear Pisces.
Cancer: --pops out of oven--
Leo: HOLY MOLY DEAR GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME you scared me more than when I found out about Virgo's 5th pregnancy this year.
Cancer: Surprise, BITCHES.
Cancer: --stands underneath mistletoe--
Cancer: --blocks entrance to the kitchen--
Everyone except Cancer: ...
Cancer: Merry Christmas, come inside and make some eggnog pancakes with me. Oh, there's a password to get through.
Cancer: --stares at Capricorn--
Taurus: --tears up--
Pisces: --sniffs-- That was the most terrifying face I've seen my entire life
Scorpio: There there, Pisces... --gulps--
Everyone agreed that going out to dinner for a Christmas brunch would be better than having to kiss Cancer. But they had fun, and later opened presents!
Did Aquarius get to make out with her celeb crush, Leo? Did Cancer get a kiss from the Birthday Goat, Capricorn? Is Virgo pregnant AGAIN? Now that's up to you to imagine...
MERRY EARLY CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER
First Story... yes or nah?
STORY BY ASTROLOCHEESE ON TUMBLR