Part 3 The Road of Good Intentions

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MY CONDO DOOR IS UNLOCKED and slightly open. Frozen at the entrance with my keys in hand, I frantically retrace my steps when leaving this morning. It is possible I could have forgotten to lock it, but doubtful. I reach my hand into my purse and grab the pepper spray Stacy was so adamant I carry. My mind tells me to get the hell out of here and call the police, but my ridiculous need to know pushes me slowly through the door. From the hallway I see the kitchen light on and I'm positive I didn't leave that on. A clank of a glass startles me enough to speak. "Whoever is in my house, I'm warning you, I'm armed." Beads of sweat trickle down my face as fear pulses through every muscle in my body. "Get the fuck out of my house. I will fucking kill you."

"Don't shoot!" Freddy chuckles from the kitchen. "I'll do anything you want." He comes around the corner continuing to laugh at me. "Wow, baby. You need to burn off some of that tension. Seriously."

I put the pepper spray on the secretary and drop my purse. "I'm not laughing. You're lucky I didn't call the cops. Why are you here?"

"I was worried when you didn't answer the phone."

I drop my chin down like my aunt does. "What were you so worried about?"

A long uncomfortable moment of silence passes through the both of us.

Freddy brushes his hands through his hair, something he does when he's uncomfortable talking to me beyond the superficial. "You, I was worried about you."

"You don't have to worry about me. You know how I hate that."

He reaches out his hand and gently strokes my hair. "I know, but I still worry about you kid."

"I know you do," I say. "But that was over a year ago. No need to keep going there. I don't want you to keep whatever it is between us alive purely because you're worried about me."

Freddy takes a few steps back. "Is that what you think this is?"

I take another exasperated breath. "I don't know what this is anymore. I know that we have great sex and some kind of fucked up connection from a moment that happened over a year ago. But I don't like being sent away like your assistant all the time."

Freddy's head falls back like it's going to snap off. "Is this about that artist you wanted me to listen to this morning?"

Contemplating my next words carefully, I remain uncomfortably silent. 

"What the fuck is going on with you?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm pissed that you dismissed my idea without even listening."

"The artists I find are a sure thing darlin."

His comment drops my jaw to the ground. "Excuse me?"

"The artists I find are sure-fire, money-making, audience-filling fucking stars baby and that's that." His eyes glare back at me like fire further igniting my flame.

"Don't you mean we find? We found SoulBusters together—me and you and that's been the biggest signing to date at OC."

Freddy puts his drink down. "What? What are you talking about? I knew Rick way before you did and it's because of me he came aboard."

"That may be true, but I came up with the ideas to turn him into the goldmine he is today—me!"

"We can go through this again and again but it's history baby."

I roll my eyes. 

"You can roll your eyes all you want. You were well compensated and accredited for your contribution. However, we are on to the next thing and Muno is the next thing."

"How can you make such an assertion without even listening to Modeus? Or seeing him live, or research his following?"

"Don't need to."

"Don't want to. Admit it."

"Look," Freddy says. "Muno is the next artist. I found him and you can help me with that or you can..."

"I can what?" I ask.

He looks at me surprised at the question and as usual is having a hard time finding the words to either let me go or give me something I can hold onto.

Frustrated at his lack of communication I decide to push back. "I can't do this anymore."

"What can't you do anymore?" He asks, taking a step in closer. "You can't be spoiled rotten anymore? You can't hang out in the best clubs drinking the best champagne enjoying an amazing evening together with the man you love to be with?"

My heart beats fast from the comment. I thought he was going to say something else and for a moment, I believed he was. I shake my head and calmly laugh while my disappointment drops me from the roof. "You make it sound so romantic. If only it were like the picture you paint."

He quickly exhales and looks away from me. He knows what I want and I know he can't give it to me.

"You should just go," I say.

"Excuse me?" he asks. A salacious grin appears across his face. He leans down to my ear. "You don't call this thing off. I do." He grabs my waist and looks down into my eyes. "This isn't you."

I look up into those amazing blue eyes that get me in trouble every time. "Maybe that's the problem."

He draws another deep breath and lets me go. "You don't know what you're saying."

I take a step back and watch as he collects what little he brought in with him and heads towards the door. I knew he would leave.

He stops at the door and turns around. "You got it good with me kid. You're not going to get a better deal."

I look away knowing in my heart I can't allow the same pattern to continue.

"You want me gone. I'm gone."

The door slams behind him. 

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