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19. Leap Of Faith

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Chapter 18 has been made private

We had ordered in Chinese that first night as we waited for Jays' bags to be delivered.  I was wearing Jays' tshirt and he was looking hot as hell in only his jeans.

I smiled as I lightly drew my finger over his scratch marks, marks that he seemed equally as pleased with.

"Do you think they'll warn other girls that I'm taken?" He asked quietly and I sucked in a breath, deciding now was the time to be brave.

"That depends Jay. Is that what they mean to you?"

He placed his finger under my chin and raised my face to his, his lips gently brushing against mine.

"Yes." He whispered quietly.

I looked deep into his eyes, his emotions were all showing. Excitement; nervousness; desire; trust; but mostly fear.

"You, you want to be with me?" I asked for confirmation.

"Yes Mia. I want to be with you." My hand came up and cupped his cheek as I kissed him.

"In that case, the scratches will be a permanent thing." I joked as I kissed him deeper.

"Is this what you want?" He asked, his voice sounding unsure.

"Yes Jay, you are exactly what I want." I felt him relax as he held me against him.

"Are you okay?" I asked after a while.

"I'm scared to death Mia." He admitted honestly and I pulled back to look at him. "For the first time since....since...." he shook his head. "I want to be with you Mia, it's a risk I'm willing to take."

"I promise Jay, I promise that I will never intentionally hurt you. Well, mentally at least." I joked as I kissed down his scratches.

"I know baby, I trust you." He groaned as my tongue flicked over his nipple.

His hand fisted in my hair and I moaned as he pulled my head back and kissed my throat.

"You, my little minx, don't know what you've signed up for." He teased as his tongue traced my jawline.

"Baby, I'll sign up for anything with you. I like the person I am with you, I like being carefree and careless, I like being so completely lost in you that nothing else matters. I like how you draw me out of my comfort zone and show me how good it is once I'm out there.  But mostly" he looked up as I stopped "mostly, I like how safe you make me feel." I didn't know if I'd revealed too much, but I really wanted him to know how I felt.

"You feel all of that? With me?" He asked slightly stunned.

"That and a whole lot more Jay. I don't think you realise how special you are."  I added quietly as I watched his brows furrow in confusion. 

When he remained silent, I started to feel embarrassed, which was made even worse when he noticed the colour rising on my cheeks.

"Shit Mia, no. Don't be embarrassed, I'm um...I'm flattered. I'm really fucking flattered...it's just...." He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck as he exhaled loudly.

I drew a deep breath and took a chance on what I was going to say next.

"Jay, what happened between you and Tracy was fucked up. But, she's the one who fucked you over, she manipulated you and destroyed your confidence,  it's not a reflection on you. It's not a reflection on who you are.  You are the strongest, most self assured man I know.  You're surrounded by a sense of self worth and confidence, you just don't realise it. I don't think you realise how strong you came out of it all."

He looked at me in total surprise and I decided to continue.

"Babe, you don't get girls agreeing to 'hook up' unless you have confidence, you don't get them wanting more. You don't get me wanting more." I said honestly.  "You have it, you just don't realise it." 

I watched his face as he absorbed my words, his lips twitching as they formed a smile.

"Well babe, it seems like you're the philosopher and I'm the action man, let's teach each other everything we know."  His lips met mine hungrily and I was lost in everything Jay.

We made love, we fucked, we played and he showed me time and again how much confidence he had physically.

As we lay in my bed, my head resting against his chest, I asked how long he was staying. 

"Hmmm until your girly decor makes me feel too emasculated and sends me home for a shot of testosterone."  He joked and I laughed along with him.  

"Yeah, I guess I went overboard, but I needed to make this place mine." 

"I get that."  He said as he kissed the top of my head.

"I want to take you out for dinner tomorrow night, a celebration of sorts." 

"Really?"  I smiled as I looked up to meet his eyes. 

"Yes Mia, really."  He rolled his eyes in mock annoyance.  "Embrace your self worth."  He shouted as if he was a motivational speaker and I cracked up.

Coming out of the bathroom in the morning, I raised my eyebrows as I saw one of my dresses laying on my bed. 

"Since I don't get to spend my day with you, I want to at least imagine you as I want you to look."  I laughed and he smiled.  "No underwear today babe."  He said suggestively and the fact that he was in the same room requesting it, made me agree more eagerly.

"I'll pick you up at lunch time."  He murmured against my lips as he dropped me off. 

"I can't wait."  I said truthfully.

All morning I was clock watching until I finally grabbed my bag and made my way out and my heart leapt as I saw him leaning against the wall in the same way he had yesterday.  His eyes were so intense, I felt naked by the time I had reached him. 

"Ready?"  He asked in his deep, sexual voice and I drew my bottom lip into my mouth as I nodded.

He drove me the 10 minutes home and it took 10 seconds before we were both naked and his cock was buried deep inside me.  I clung to him like my life depended on it as he showed me exactly why I was with him. 

His confidence, his dirty words, his control over me was completely intoxicating and I found myself surrendering over and over.

He walked me back into work, whispering what he wanted to do to my body and I had to hold back my moans.  Giving me a quick kiss, he promised to be there to pick me up when I finished work. 

It was the longest afternoon I'd ever experienced as I waited to be back in his arms.

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