I was led into a room as a doctor checked me over and bandaged my arms, he searched my jacket, "what are you looking for?" I asked. "Anything sharp or medication, its not permitted in here just a precaution" he explained handing them back to me. He sat me down and picked up a notebook, "has something happened before now that has led to the current situation?" He asked. "My boyfriend was killed in a hit and run. The dreams started after that, they were horrible. I got a new job, it went from zero to crazy in a matter of weeks. I had a crash and only got out of hospital a few days before this happened. Then he was there, he kept talking he wouldn't leave me alone" I explained.
He wrote it all down, "ok I'll show you to your room adam. I'm going to prescribe you some medication, the staff here will make sure you get that" he told me. I nodded as he stood, he placed his hand in my shoulder and steered me through corridors. It smelt of sweat and cheap disinfectant here, I wrinkled my nose gazing round me warily. People screamed and shouted around me banging on doors or just sat rocking back and forth on beds. I walked past as room the person inside slammed on the door their face contorted as I gasped and jumped back, my shoulders hitting the wall.
"What is this place?" I asked quietly breathing heavily. "It's a hospital adam" he replied calmly, "I don't like it here can I go home?" I asked as he squeezed my shoulder gently. "You can go home soon adam I promise, but we need to make you better first" he instructed as though I were a child. He let go of my shoulder and pulled a set of keys from his jacket. He put the key in a door with bars in front of me turning it as it unlocked with a click. I stepped inside and looked round, there was a bed in one corner, a desk, a small tv, a chair and small bathroom through a separate door. "So this is your room we close the doors for the night at 8pm, lights out is 11pm until then you're free to roam around and mix with other people" he explained.
I nodded as I walked inside, it was cold, dreary and loud with people screaming obscene things. "Anyway dinner is being served now so if you want to follow me i'll show you where to go" he answered. I put my bag on the bed and followed him into a crammed cafeteria, people lined the walls carrying plastic plates and childrens cutlery with plastic cups. I joined the queue as everyone stared at me, I looked away realising they probably recognised me from interviews. It made me slightly uncomfortable as food was placed on the plate.
I looked down at the unappetising slop as I sat down, I pushed it round the plate as I put a forkful in my mouth. It was tasteless and thick, it stuck to the roof of my mouth like glue. I shuddered as I forced myself to swallow it. "Ew" I said quietly to myself, a young woman sat next to me. "Hi" she said smiling, "hello" I replied quietly returning her smile. "Are you new here?" she asked, "erm yeah" I answered. "Im Katie-marie, Im sure I recognise you from somewhere. Ah well im sure it will come to me" she said holding out her hand. "Its nice to meet you im adam" I replied shaking it gently.
"You seem slightly on edge" she commented, "I don't really like it here, its kind of frightening" I replied. "Everyone gets scared when they first come here, you'll feel much better once they start putting you on medication" she explained. "But if they get it wrong or they don't work, Im scared of what I might do" I said. "That's a normal thing, some days are good some days are bad. The medication will help" she answered.
"You seem so.. so" I said trying to think of a word that wont offend her. "Normal?" she asked, I flushed with embarrassment and nodded. "Today is a good day adam" she answered, "right" I said. "What room are you in?" she asked, "erm 306" I replied remembering it from before. "That's a couple from me, if you ever need someone just give me a knock. I rarely have bad days now they have my meds sorted. They might be releasing me in the next month, I can go home to my family and my little girls" she said.
"You have children?" I asked, she nodded and dug into her bra. She opened a purse and showed me a picture, "this is Katrina and this one is Roxie" she told me pointing them out. "They're beautiful, how old are they?" I questioned. "Kat is 10 and Roxie is 5. I miss them an awful lot, they come and see me though so its not too bad. My husband Nathan brings them" she answered. "But you don't have a ring?" I asked, "I do. we aren't allowed jewellery in here in case we try to hurt ourselves with it. How about you do you have a wife? Family?" she asked.
"No I don't have a wife, or a girlfriend. I don't have a family either, I wont ever have one not now anyway" I replied. "Why no girlfriend youre a handsome guy, wait are you gay?" she asked. I nodded as she smiled "that's awesome ive not really met a gay person before" she said. "Well you have now" I replied. One of the staff shouted right next to me as I flinched a little, "alright everyone back to your rooms doors shut in 15 minutes." There was the loud scrape of chairs, the occasional whine or complaint.
Suddenly there was an uproar as one of the others started to scream, they kicked out at the staff who struggled to keep hold of him. We were all ushered out as I walked past, he grabbed me and gripped my shoulders tightly. "Get out leave while you still can before they make you stay here, hes coming" he said shaking me so violently he head butted me. A nurse rushed in as his grip loosened and he fell into their arms drowsily. I backed away in shock as I was led away from them and towards my room.
I was glad to be away from that craziness as I crossed the room, the door shut with a clang as the lock was turned. I crawled under the thin blanket and curled into a ball the blanket covering my head as I breathed heavily my gaze on the wall. In the distance screams echoed as I covered my ears and curled up tighter wanting to block it all out.
