chapter 3

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I couldn't remember how many drinks I had at this point. All I knew was that I was definitely avoiding Aiden at all costs. He had done a great job of pissing me off and stirring emotions that should be left alone. I did not want to deal with him and I wanted to keep the promise I made to myself about getting mortal.

I lost Aiden in the crowd a while ago and I had not seen Jay, Marco and Andrew yet either.

I was definitely not drunk enough if Aiden was still on my mind.

I made my way into the kitchen to grab another drink when "Change your life" started playing over the speakers. All the girls started squealing and ran into the lounge room of the house. They looked like absolute idiots trying to dance to impress the boys. All I could do was laugh while a few people started breaking in the centre of the lounge room. I poured myself a couple of shots and watched on.

By now, a crowd had formed. The girls started trying to dance again before the cheerleaders pushed them out of the way and started dancing. The sight of these blonde bimbos was astounding. I couldn't take the horrible dancing anymore and pushed them out of the way before climbing on top of the dining table and started dancing.

I ignored everyone and went into my element. What many people did not know about me was that I could dance. I was not brilliant at it but I also wasn't horrible at it. It gave me such a high when I did dance. It was my stress reliever and it was the one time I allowed myself to shut everything off.

I opened my eyes to see that I could many people's eyes, especially the boys. Their eyes looked like they had been gorged out of their eye sockets. The cheerleaders looked shocked and the bimbos looked mad. I jumped down off the table after my eyes met Aiden's. I grabbed my drink and walked into the middle of the room, knowing he would follow me.

He grabs my hand before spinning me around and firing questions at me.

"What exactly did you think you were doing?" he asked

"I was having fun Aiden. You should try it sometime."

"By dirty dancing in the middle of a dining table? You looked like you've just stepped out of coyote ugly. I didn't even know you could move like that?"

I smirked before replying.

"There's a lot you don't know about me but as far as I'm concerned I am not drunk enough to be having this conversation with you."

"You're not going anywhere. You've drank your weight in alcohol."

"Don't tell me what to do Aiden. You've never cared before so don't start now."

With that I walked away looking for a distraction.

Within five minutes, I had found him. His name was Carter and we were close. He was nineteen and the definition of a bad ass. Coincidence enough that "I knew you were trouble" started playing at that exact moment. I knew he was trouble but I did not care. It only made me want him even more.

He had black hair, bright blue eyes, and a killer smile. I had met him at one of Aiden's races and we had been friends ever since. The boys told me to stay away from him but I did not listen and I was certainly not starting now, even if it was for my own good. I did not do relationships. They just fucked everything up and I did not want that.

I turned to face Carter and flashed him my signature smirk.

"Hey Savannah, fancy seeing you here."

"Coincidence isn't it Carter. I haven't seen you in a while."

"Been busy baby girl. We can catch up now though," he said pulling me closer.

I had texted Carter asking him to met me at the party before I got into the shower. I had missed him and I could use his company.

There was nothing romantic between Carter and I. We did have a little secret between us that no one knew about. Carter was the one who took my virginity and somehow we had managed to stay friends. We agreed to help each other out when we needed a release occasionally but we were still allowed to see other people. In my case, I wasn't seeing anyone. When I wanted to have some, fun I'd just call Carter.

"You look stressed. I would say you need a little distraction," he said whispering in my ear.

"I definitely need a distraction," I said smiling back at him.

He grabbed my hand before turning to lead me upstairs. Unfortunately, Aiden chose this moment to reappear.

"Where do you think you're going with her Carter?" Aiden asked, looking very angry.

"What I'm doing is none of your business Williams. This is between Savannah and I, right babe?"

"Sure is. This does not involve you Aiden. I think it's best if you leave."

"It does. You know there's something between us Sav and you're just mad at me."

Carter just laughed.

"You think you two have something going on? You really are blind Williams. Savannah and I have been hooking up for months now."

"Sav, is he serious right now?"

"Yes, he's serious Aiden. I have been hooking up with him for a while. You made it clear tonight there is nothing going on between us. There never has been something there. We're just friends Aiden."

I could see the hurt in his eyes but he had a right to know. Carter managed to make me feel things that I'd never felt before. Around everyone else, I was lifeless. I was not so numb when I was with him and he was my distraction when things got overwhelming. That is all there was to our relationship but Aiden did not need to know that.

"Savannah, I've told you before to stay away from him. He's bad news and he's just going to break your heart."

I just laughed. The amount of times I have heard that.

"Isn't that what everyone said about you? You are forgetting one very vital piece of information. I don't do relationships remember?"

"It's your choice Sav. I just hope you know what you're doing."

I did not bother answering him and walked up the stairs with Carter.

"Just ignore Williams babe. What we have got going is not a bad thing. We're both young and we're just having fun."

"I know Carter. It is nothing like that; it is just that there is something about Aiden. He has known me for a long time and yet never paid any attention in me until I took an interest in bikes. He took me under his wing and taught me all I know and now I don't know if he actually likes the real me or if he likes this front I put on. I don't want to have to be what everyone wants me to be. I want to do what makes me happy and yet no one cares about that. They want me to be something I'm not."

"Look Savannah, I've known you for a while but I know the real you. You like to hide behind this persona you have going on. You hide behind this because you are scared no one will like the real you when all you have to do is be you. If they don't like the real you then that's their problem. You can't please everyone, besides I like you just the way you are." Carter said before pulling me in for a kiss.

For a while, I forgot everything around me and put everything, I had into the kiss. I forgot about Aiden, my parents and even how I was an outcast in every possible way.

All that existed in that moment was Carter. He made me forget; even it was just for a second. The void I felt constantly was filled for the briefest moment. Carter had awoken something in me the first time we had sex.

Everyone talks about their first time being special with the one they love. For me, sex and racing was the only way of forgetting just how much my life sucked and how I would never be good enough for anyone. I was a disappointment to my family and no one was willing to stick by me. I wasn't worth it.

This was my therapy and I had a feeling that I would need a lot more of it.



A/N

video of change your life is to the side

let me know what you think.

comment and vote.

Thankyou lovelies xxx

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