A wave of overwhelming sadness washed over me as tears ran freely down my face, everyone stared at me. "Adam?" violet asked, "im sorry I don't know whats happening to me. I think I need to go" I said in between sobs. "Will you be alright?" she asked, "yeah im just tired" I answered as I turned and left the room. I walked the short distance to the hotel and made my way up to my room, I shut the door behind me and threw myself onto the bed. Burying my face in the pillow I cried until my chest and head hurt, I didn't know what was going on with me lately.I cant even concentrate on anything anymore, even the smallest of everyday tasks was effort. I rolled onto my side and curled into a ball my gaze dropping to the wall.
Days later....
I sat staring at the same spot as I ran my hands over my face, the stubble on my jaw rough against my hands. I sat in darkness, cold and dressed in the same outfit from days before. My makeup was down my face and my hair a mess but I didn't care. It was like I was stuck in time, numb to everything. Even the pounding on the door seemed distant, the ringing of my mobile no longer a background noise.
The cuts on my arms has since crusted over the tracks of blood running down my forearm and hands, the blood had since dried from my attempts to feel something. Anything. I sat in silence, my eyes wide as a sharp knock at the door had me jumping. "Adam please open the door" came Esther's voice from the other side. "Adam please we're worried about you" garnet said. "I'm ok just go" I said barely recognising my own voice. "Bullshit adam open this door please, it's just me" Esther said.
I dragged myself from the bed, my body felt heavy and stiff from staying in one place too long."Have they gone?" I asked. "Yeah garnet went to call your mom she's going out her mind" she said. I fumbled with the lock as she pushed it open and shut the door behind her. "Adam" she said wrapping her arms round me tightly. I didn't hug her back as she let go stepping back, "it's so dark in here" she commented crossing the room and opening the curtains. I shielded my eyes from the bright sunlight as she gasped. "Adam what happened to you? You're a mess" she said sitting next to me.
" I don't know what's wrong with me Esther I don't know what to do. How To make it stop please make it stop" I begged covering my ears. She pulled my hands into my lap, "stop what?" She asked. "Him I can hear him whispering to me I can hear him please shut him up" I said hysterically. "Ok calm down, who can you hear Adam?" She asked. I swallowed my breathing shallow as my eyes darted round the room. "Tommy" I replied standing, "leave me alone please leave me alone I don't want you here" I cried as he stood in front of me as I hit out at him. Esther grabbed my wrists as I winced and pulled them from her grasp. "Adam what did you do!" She cried looking down at my cut up arms.
"I wanted it to stop, please help me Esther help me" I said. "Ok I'm going to call someone stay here, don't move ok" she told me sitting me on the bed. I nodded and grabbed my knees pulling them up to my chin. I heard her on the phone as I sat in silence tears running down my face. She returned a few minutes later, "ok the doctor will be here soon ok let's clean those arms and get that makeup off"she said. She pulled wipes from her bag and lifted my chin. She ran the wipe over my face clearing the makeup from my cheeks. She found a first aid kit, "this might hurt" she said running a antiseptic wipe over the cuts. I sat barely flinching at the stinging sensation on my arm it was kind of calming feeling something.
She ushered me into the bathroom as I showered in a daze. Once I was done I got dressed and towel dried my hair. I sat back on the bed as Esther watched me intently. After a while there was another knock on the door, Esther went to answer it. A older man walked in with a briefcase, "Adam can you hear me?" He asked as I nodded. "My name is doctor Gardner I'm a psychiatrist can you explain what's been going on for me?" He asked. "I can't sleep. Everything is so hard, I can't stop crying he won't go he won't leave me alone he's always there in my ear talking to me can you make him leave?" I said gripping his jacket. "I can help you Adam, but I need you to trust me and to come with me" he told me slowly prising my fingers from his jacket.
"I want to come with you please take me away from him" I said. "Ok go with my associate here and he will keep you safe from him I'm just going to find you some things ok?" He asked. I nodded and followed the other man down the corridor into a waiting car. I sat quietly in the back as my friends came Down. "Be safe Adam we'll come and visit you everyday ok" she said. "Ok, bye" I said not understanding why they were all crying. The car pulled into the traffic as my friends disappeared into the distance.
