Only a few things were on my mind. Hurt. I was hurt. Confusion. I was confused. Pain. I was in pain. Kev. I was in love with Kev.
You know, it sounds so simple. The fact that you know how much you're in love with them, but you're so scared to be with them.
He hurt me. He made me confused. He put me through pain. Yet, I'm madly in love with him.
Too many tears have fallen from my eyes lately. I'm sick of tears. I'm sick of crying till my throat hurts and I can no longer make sounds.
I miss his lips. I miss his eyes. I miss his hand in mine. I miss his cologne. I miss him.
Funny how it seems as if our feelings change when in reality it was him all along.
It was him all along..
Why does she always run? It's makes me feel so awful for what I did. I don't wanna hold on to the past.
I can't do anything but picture her face. Her beautiful face.
I miss her.
I got out of my bed, only to crawl back into it.
The good thing about today is that no one was home, so I couldn't be bothered. They were all out celebrating my aunts birthday for the weekend, and I was too depressed to go.
Why doesn't Bethany see that every time we are away from each other it only makes us more upset?
It only makes us lay in bed.
I just wanted to be her. I just wanted to love her to pieces.
I heard the ringing of my doorbell echo throughout my house.
Maybe if I stayed in bed they would go away. Maybe if I never answered they would leave me alone.
I sighed and got out of bed the second time the doorbell rang, and loud knocks started coming.
"Aight I'm coming," I mumbled to myself.
I walked to the door and opened it and immediately my heart started pounding like a drum.
"Hi Bethany.." I said, staring into her beautiful eyes. I swallowed loudly. Why am I nervous? Girls used to never make me nervous.
"I-" she opened her mouth but quickly closed it. She did the same thing about 4 more times before gettin choked up and teary eyed. "I'm so sorry Kev." She spoke fast. "I didn't mean to be such a bad person." She cried.
"Nah shawty," I soothed, pulling her into my arms. "You ain't a bad person. You're anything but a bad person."
She cuddled into my arms and her warmth on my skin was the most amazing feeling in the whole entire world. I missed this feeling more than anything. It's almost indescribable. She smelt like coconut, just like she usually smells like and it brought me so many memories of her that I missed for so long.
She looked up and deep into my eyes, practically down to my soul. "I love you,"
I couldn't help myself, and practically smashed my lips onto hers. She immediately reached up and grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me closer.
I pulled her into my house and kicked my front door shut.
I just wanted her, and all of her. One hunnit percent of her. I loved her more than anything.
I ran my fingers lightly down her back, smiling through the kiss when she squeezed me tighter.
We pulled apart from each other, out of breath. She looked so beautiful standing there, blushing like crazy. Knowing she was mine again was greater than anything in the world.
I intertwined our fingers and walked upstairs with her.
"Shall we continue?" I laughed, shutting my bedroom door. She softly bit her lip and giggled. "You're so beautiful," I whispered, tucking her curls behind her ear. I softly kisses her lips.
She grabbed my t-shirt and pulled me towards my bed, not disconnecting our lips for anything.
Ooh feisty, just the way I like em.
It's like we were the only ones in the world. She was the only thing I cared about.
My hands wandered up her shirt and I felt her shiver beneath my touch. She ran her fingers through my curls.
I pulled away and began to kiss her neck.
"I love you too ma."
It felt amazing being in Kevin's arms again. Like light in a world of darkness. It really made me realize how much I missed him and his touch in the first place.
I was currently laying next to him in his bed. He was spooning my side, sleeping. I could hear his soft breathing and his breath tickled my shoulder.
Although we hadn't gone all the way, I wanted to eventually. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I've never loved anyone more than him.
My heart was his and his was mine.
I loved him to death.
Oh shit guys, 2 more chapters and I'm finished with this story 😭
But enjoy the update!!
Much love 🙏