37. safeguards and insecurities

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Wow.

Newsflash, Chloe. We can't read your mind. You never told me any of that, you were always encouraging, always supportive.

Way to make me feel like a horrible friend. All I did was try to make things right for you. But what was right for you was holding me back.

You were always the one there for me Chloe. The one I could fall back on unconditionally. But I needed more than that, Chloe. I love you, like a sister. But that doesn't mean I have to sacrifice my life to check up on you all of the time. I can have other people in my life.

Still, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for sheltering you from making other friends, and I'm sorry for encasing you in your comfort zone.

Love,

Mon.

Mon

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My breathing hitched as I stepped out of the door, the sight in front of me still out of my realms of comprehension.

"You changed your mind," I said, my voice sounding oddly faint in the quiet night air.

He raised his lips in a humorless half-grin and crossed his arms over his chest wordlessly. I didn't need the hint. I pursed my lips shut and headed to the car where he gestured, hoisting the duffel bag of tools over my shoulder and climbing into the passenger seat.

"Why?" I asked into the silence that ensued in the cab. My voice was croaky from the restless few hours of sleep I'd managed, and I still wasn't quite sure if this was a dream.

"Because I couldn't live with myself if you went by yourself and something happened," he said. "I'm still not happy, Chloe. I think you're acting recklessly and impulsively and taking this risk is unjustified. But I also know you're smart, and I believe you can do this and that's what scares me."

"You want to be on my good side when all of this goes down?" I asked jokingly. All of a sudden I felt the need to ease the tension slowly developing.

He sighed, and I could tell by the way his knuckles whitened that I couldn't push him. He was here, after all, despite what I'd put him through. Even with how detrimental this could be for him if we were caught.

"Thank you," I said. "I know this is a huge risk for you, with everything going on..."

"Which is why we can't get caught," he said, clearly not wanting to consider the consequences.

I swallowed. "I just don't want you risking everything because you feel bad, or for me, or for any other reason. I know I asked you to in the first place, but if something did go wrong, you're already suspended for school. If you get arrested or—"

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