The Whys of Tyler's Temper

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Tyler Gray

I leaned against the kitchen counter leisurely, just quietly waiting for my chocolate cupcakes to bake. My favorite customer had asked me to make him some. And when your brother's sinfully adorable son walks up to you with chocolates and smiles asking you to bake him a frigging chocolate cupcake...well who could say no?

Little Nash suddenly appeared next to me, holding his toy gun. He looked up at me with his green eyes excited. "Cupcake?" I ruffled his brown locks. "Almost done buddy." He nodded patiently. So we just stood there waiting. Nash was tinkering with his toy gun. It looked really cool though. The gun looked adorable and yet deadly at the same time. "What kind of gun is that Nash?"

Baby Nash smiled and pointed it at himself. He pulled the trigger and opened his mouth to receive a spray of something sweet. He cooed in delight and licked some of the substance on his lips. "Wow," I said, "What came out of that thing?" He giggled and handed me the gun, saying candy. I looked at the gun and heard something click inside the moment I got it from baby Nash. Must be the candy. But damn. I should've listened to my instincts because when I pulled the trigger on my face, I got hit with something that exploded blue. "Oh God what the fuck!!??" I exclaimed, trying to see through the blue sticky, slimy substance sticking to my goddamn face.

"What's going on?" Alice said from somewhere near the kitchen door. "What is that?" I heard West say.

I ran to the sink to rinse it off me. "Oh shit. Nash, where'd you get that?" West asked warily. I heard the kid say, "Closet."

"Yes, Nash. That's where I hid it..." West sighs. I managed to get most of the slime off of me. West picked up his son and pried the deadly toy away from him.

"Where'd he get that thing?" I asked while glaring at the gun.

"Let me guess, it's a present from my masters..." Alice said. She was at my side now with a towel. I gladly took it from her but she snatched it back and told me to stay still proceeding to wipe the stuff of off me. I let her. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to her whine while my face feels like shit blue goo on it.

"It was a Christmas present. I doubted the thing the moment the Hills gave it to him. But Naomi insisted that it was fine because she still sees the goodness in those two demons. She tried it on herself and happily got sprayed with some sort of liquefied candy substance that tasted fucking delicious. Same with Nash who immediately liked the thing. But when it was my turn...well...yeah a face full of that shit. It was pink when it hit me though," West muttered. "I thought I sealed the thing forever..."

"Obviously not," I mumbled. "How does it know when to be the sweet bitch that it can be and when to fucking shoot colored *** in your face!?"

"Tyler, watch your mouth. I don't want Nash to learn words like that yet," West reprimanded. "I'll be teaching him that in due time," he added excitedly. "Right before puberty maybe."

"You retarded father," Alice said shaking her head. West laughed. "I think those twin assholes placed Naomi and Nash's finger print code into the gun so that whenever either of them touches it, it becomes a candy gun. And then everyone else is an enemy to it."

I made Alice pause in cleaning my face and went towards a sad Nash who told me that he was sorry. "No, it's not your fault little guy," I reassured him. I took a lick at his cheek where I could see the candy, and the most amazing taste practically made my taste buds swoon. "Oh my God. What is that?" I said peppering kisses at a giggling Nash just to get more of the taste. "Those damn twins have been hiding this from me!" I grabbed the gun from West and gave it to Nash. "Shoot me Nash." I figured that the only way to get more of that candy is to get someone the gun knows to shoot you. "Uh Ty I wouldn't---" West said, but Nash already shot me...with purple slime...

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