This Is Love

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That night Nathan and I shared his headphones as he introduced me to a his favorite tv show: The Hundred.

I smiled while watching one of the main characters, Octavia, step onto the ground for the first time. She'd spent her whole life up in space, and I could see it in her face as her foot came in contact with the spongy dirt. She felt at home.

She was made for earth, not for space.

Nathan had a casual arm draped over my shoulder, and I was leaning against him so that the headphones weren't jerked from either of our ears. Things had settled down after everyone had sort of agreed to let me into the family, and I felt like Octavia.

Like I'd found a home.

It was new, and scary, and I was worried that they would tire of me and leave, but I was also oddly trusting. I trusted North, and Owen, and Gabriel, and all of them, to stay by my side through thick and thin. They didn't seem like the type to invite someone into their little family, only to kick them right back out.

I wanted to curl up with all of them, to hug them tight and try to express what they meant to me. But I couldn't find the words just yet, and it didn't really feel solid. Silas was still in a coma, and I was worried about what would happen if he stayed that way.

Would he ever wake up?

If he did, would he shun me, or think they'd tried to replace him with me?

I pushed the thoughts away and pulled Nathan's covers up to my shoulders, settling in as if I was going to sleep in his bed with him. I hadn't asked, but he wasn't questioning my intentions either. My eyelids got heavier with each blink.

"Nathan I'm going to sleep here, kay?" I whispered, my eyes refusing to pop open anymore.

He gently tugged the headphone from my ear, and I could feel him moving around, doing something. Then he turned towards me and sighed softly.

"Good night Owen."

There was a pause, and then the others echoed. "Good night Owen."

I grinned wide, listening to them all go down the line. When all of the boys had finished there was a pause, and then all at once they wished me a good night. I pressed my face closer to the pillow, my good night coming out as a whisper instead of the loud one I'd intended to say for them all to hear.

I was running through a forest. Not the one from behind my house, but the one from the 100. Trees tried to grab at my ankles, trying to pull me down. I kept running. I knew I had somewhere to be, but I wasn't sure how to get there.

I jumped over a log, narrowly escaping a stumble that would have had me landing with dirt in my mouth for sure. I pumped my legs faster.

The forest loomed on like a never ending dark hallway, and I cried out in frustration.

I woke up then. Not with a fuss, and not because of any of the boys shaking me into the real world. I mildly wondered if the dream could be considered bad, or if it was just irritating. As I blinked a few more times, the dream faded until all I could remember was the beautiful forest, and resentment for having to wake up because of it.

Nathan's arm was hooked around my hip. But it was loose enough for me to slip out from under without making him wake up. I sat up and pressed my bare toes to the cold ground. Easing myself from the hospital bed, I took a few quick steps away before pausing and listening.

None of them had woken up.

I let myself relax, and tip toed over to the bathroom. When I'd finished doing my business, I was faced with a new challenge. Crawl back in bed with one of them, and risk waking them up, or find a new place to sleep in the room, and risk Nathan thinking I hadn't wanted to sleep with him.

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