Drarry Oneshots (Angsty)

Missing you

Warning: Contains mentions of self-harm and suicide. (I'm sorry...)

I heard that you've been self-medicating in the quiet of your room, your sweet, suburban tomb. And if you need a friend, I'll help you stitch up your wounds.

I knocked gingerly on the door of my boyfriend's room. He had been avoiding me for the past week and I wondered if I had done something wrong. I had already asked his friends what the matter was but we had come up blank. All anyone knew was that he had barricaded himself in and refused to come out.

I heard a small, muffled sob from within and the slow sound of shuffling feet heading towards the door. I waited patiently for it to open.

Eventually I heard a click and the door creaked open. Cautiously I stepped into the room and looked around. The room was dark due to the closed curtains but I could see my boyfriend lying weakly atop his bedsheets.

He looked a mess.

Deep shadows lined his eyes and his once sparkling irises seemed dull and void. He looked extraordinarily pale and rather ill.

"What's wrong, love?" I asked. "You know you can tell me anything."

I was answered by a quiet sniffle.

I moved closer and perched myself at the end of the bed. "Come on. It's not good to bottle up your feelings. Please tell me what the matter is."

Suddenly he sat up. "You want to know what's wrong," he said icily. "I can't do it anymore. Everyone expects me to fight. They expect me to help their side win. They want me as a weapon and it's so damn pressurising! I'm just a boy, why can't someone else do it all!" He was shouting now and I was more concerned than I was before, if that was possible.

"They keep telling me it's all 'for the cause' and that I need to complete all of these fucking things to in order to 'build a perfect world'. I'm just so fucking done!"

His rant faded into sobs and I felt myself close to tears on his behalf. Who knew that sixth year would be so stressful? Quickly I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, letting him know that I was there for him.

"Um, there's one more thing I need to tell you," he said nervously and rolled up his sleeves. I gasped. Long, thin, angry, red scars littered his arms. He didn't need to tell me that they weren't very old.

I felt a solitary tear run down my cheek and wordlessly pressed my lips to his. Actions speak louder than words and in that moment I showed him that I would stick by him no matter what.

I heard that you've been having some trouble finding your place in the world. I know how much that hurts, but if you need a friend then please just say the word...

I know how it feels; to have your life mapped out for you before you could even have a say. In that respect I can sympathise. That's why I'm going to help him get through this. I need him just as much as he needs me.

Besides, I love him and this is what you do for someone you love.

You've come this far, you're all cleaned up, you've made a mess again, there's no more trying, time to sort yourself out...

"It's okay, love. It happens." I reassured my boyfriend as I rubbed comforting circles on his shaking shoulders. "It's perfectly normal to relapse. I still love you. Your friends still love you. You're not weak. You've come so far love, I'm so proud of you."

"It was true though, what she said, wasn't it? I really am pathetic and need to 'stop moping and sort myself out'."

I could have killed her. He was doing so well and she had to take him back to square one with one simple sentence. No one asked for her opinion and now it's ruined all of his progress. At least my friends took care of her for me.

Hold on tight, this ride is a wild one, make no mistake, the day will come when you can't cover up what you've done.

They know. The whole school knows about the scars. She told them all. They look at him like a monster. Like a disease. They stare as he walks past and whisper snidely behind his back.

One more crack and I fear he will shatter.

Now don't lose your fight, kid, it only takes a little push to pull on through. With so much left to do; You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

"I believe in you. Your friends believe in you. My friends believe in you. We know that you can pull through, love.

Think of all the things we put on our bucket list back in fifth year. We still haven't gone dragon spotting, or played quidditch in every continent. I don't want to go skinny dipping in the lake by myself because then it would be no fun.

We'd all miss you if you weren't in class or at the table at breakfast. I'd miss you so damn much so don't you dare give up the fight! You hear me!"

His only response was a sad smile but I still believed that everything would be okay.

Grit your teeth, pull your hair, paint the walls black and scream. "Fuck the world 'cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back," and never for a second blame yourself.

The next two months became 'Project: Help boyfriend get better. We tried everything we could think of. The Room of Requirement became a sound proof room where he could let out out his anger on various items of crockery and scream to his hearts content.

Various friends took it in turns to cheer him up with music or amusing anecdotes, and whilst these seemed to work they had no long term effect on his mood, which seemed to be getting worse and worse.

"Why don't you just refuse?" I asked him. "Why don't you just say no and walk away?"

"Ah yes, because that would go down really well wouldn't it! I can't just 'say no'! Not when everything is riding on my cooperation. I'm sure you could imagine the consequences."

"Sorry, it was an idiotic suggestion."

"Yeah, it was."

Guess there's no way out then.

Hold on tight, this ride is a wild one, make no mistake, the day will come when you can't cover up what you've done. Now don't lose your fight, kid, it only takes a little push to pull on through. With so much left to do; You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

He found a way out. He found the only option he had and he took it. I don't really blame him, I probably would have done the same thing.

But now he's gone and we'll never get to go dragon spotting or play quidditch in each of the seven continents. I'll have to go skinny dipping all by myself after all. I won't ever see him in class or at the table at breakfast ever again.

In the end he lost the fight. He shattered.

We had so much left to do together. He's missing out.

And I'm missing you, love.

I'm missing you.

A/N: Hey guys! Here's a long overdue update. This is my favourite All Time Low song because it cheers me up whenever I'm feeling particularly down.
In other news, I finally turned fifteen and got concert tickets for Panic! in October! I'm super excited!
Also, I can't believe that these oneshots have almost 2k reads and 100 votes. Thank you all so much!
Until next time, goodbye my fellow awkward peeps. Xx