Socially Awkward.

Chapter 1

Some people assume that people with any form of anxiety are seeking out attention. In some cases that is true, but in my case that's exactly opposite of what I want. They don't believe it's a real health problem, but let me tell you; it is. Anxiety sucks. I panic, I shake, I sweat, my heart beats faster and I literally go into panic mode where I feel like I'm dying, It effects my sleep, the way I think, and everything else in between. It's a real problem for me and it's something I suffer with on a regular every day basis. I am panicking pretty much 24/7. It literally controls my life. Anxiety also goes hand in hand with depression. I have social anxiety, so I don't like being around or talking to people because it sets off my attacks. Seeing as thought I don't talk to people I have slight depression but it's nothing to major. Everyone in my family knows how bad my anxiety is but they still send me to my literal hell. My brother may be the number one bad boy of the school but he still helps me throughout the day. My brother, Mason Smith. Not only is he my brother but he's my twin brother. He can be annoying but I know he loves me. He has brown hair with dyed blonde tips, sea green eyes about 5'9". Compared to me he was a God. Me, I'm 5'2", I have dark brown hair that goes down to the middle of my back, boring brown eyes that are framed by my black glasses. I'm not heavy and not too thin. I love playing video games, listening to music, reading books, watching anime or dancing in my spare time, where as my brother likes to party. I was drawn out of my thoughts by my mom coming into my room.
"Come on Emily, it's time to get up." I sat up and put my glasses on, I looked at the clock noticing that it was 5:30 in the morning. I glared at my mom.
"Why so early though, mom?" I asked annoyed.
"You start your senior year today."
"Mom..." I said dragging out the word and falling back into my bed.
"How about we make a deal?"
"What type of deal?"
"You can go half of the year at the school. Then after that half of the year is over you can finish school online. Take and submit the tests and homework here at home. Then you walk with your class."
"Fine, I'll do it. Just because I can't handle all of the people."
"Ok, now that we've come to a deal, get yo ass up woman."
"Ok mom. I'll get up." Just then, my younger brother and sister came barging into the room.
"Mommy! Alic stole my makeup." Let's see if I can explain this one. My 13 year old sister, Haylee is the girly girl of the family. Then there's my 12 year old brother Alic who may or may not be gay. He says he's not but, I believe he is. He's always stealing makeup from any of us girls. But then again he might not be gay but bi, who knows with him.
"Haylee, I'll buy you new makeup. Just let him have it." My mom said frustrated.
"Ok, mommy. Hi Emily." I smiled at her.
"Now out. Both of you are done in my room, I'd like to get dressed." They nodded and left me alone. I got up and walked into my adjoined bathroom and took a shower. When I got out I pulled on black skinny jeans with zippers on the pockets, and Nirvana crop top. I walked in the bathroom and did my makeup, I put my glasses back on and did my hair. I looked into the full Length mirror. I looked pretty good, I guess. I grabbed my Deadpool backpack, making sure everything was in it and walked down stairs. When I got down there I pulled on my black converse. I stood up and walked into the kitchen where everyone was eating.

I grabbed one of the muffins and put some eggs, sausage and cheese on it. I took a bite and started talking.
"You ready to go Alic?" I take Alic to school because he doesn't like to drive with Haylee, plus Haylee doesn't have a first period. Mason takes Haylee.
"Yeah, let's get out of here." He said while standing up.
"OK. Bye mom, dad." I gave them both a kiss on the cheek. I grabbed my bag and my keys and walked out to my car. Black 2015 Dodge Charger. We got in and I started the 5 minute drive to the school.
"So Alic, do you have a crush on anyone?" He blushed. "Ooo, spill. Come on, I wanna know."
"Well, as I'm sure you already know, I'm gay."
"Yes and I'm the only one who knows. Everyone else just thinks you're emo."
"OK, can it stay that way for now?" I nodded. "OK, so there's this boy, he's the same age as me. He came out last week. He has blonde hair and blue eyes. He's adorable. I just don't know what to do Emily." I pulled into the school's lot and stopped, turning towards him I grabbed his shoulders and started talking.
"Alic, the best thing you could do is talk to him. Be his friend. I'm sure his friends have left him, because that's just how messed up society it. Be yourself and it will all work out."
"Thanks Em."
"Now go, have a great day!" He nodded and got out of the car. I drove away to my school. Today's gonna suck, we have an outside assembly today that we are required to go to. I parked my car in my usual spot and got out grabbing my bag before closing and locking the door. Weber High, no we no longer live in Brigham. We now live in North Ogden, anyway, Weber is just like any other school. Mostly anyway. This place is 2/3s Mormon the other 1/3 is druggies/stoners, badasses or gay. I don't fit into any of those categories, I'm socially awkward. That's what society labels me as. Which is OK by me. I go unnoticed throughout the day. When I have an anxiety attack I try my best to go to the bathrooms to do it. Most of the time I don't make it and my brother always seems to know when to walk by. I walked into the front doors and turned left into the small gym. I walked down the long hallway passed the girls locker room and many people and walked through the door at the end of the hall. I went down a little ways then took a right hand turn, going into the senior hall. I walked over to my locker and opened it. I felt a tap on my shoulder I turned and saw my brother, he smiled down at me. My anxiety is high, so I plastered on a fake smile.
"The assembly starts in 5 minutes. Let's put our stuff away and head up to the football field." I nodded and stepped aside so he could put his bag into it. Me keeping mine. Yes we share a locker. He slammed it shut and we started to make our way outside and up the steepest hill ever.