Chapter 9. Edited.

''Come on'', He said kissing my neck and letting his hand slid down to my zipper.

'I'm not on birth control'', I said sitting up slightly.

This didn't seem to affect him as he awkwardly reached into the pocket in his jeans and pulled out a tiny square shaped wrapped. ''We're covered'', He said laughing at his own joke. He saw the worry plastered as clear as day on my face. ''You want this don't you?'', He asked playing with a strand of my hair.

"Cameron, I don't know", I said confused by my own emotions and desires.

He scowled at me intensely "We may not get another chance"

"What does that mean?", I asked urgently as he reached in for a kiss.

"Do you want to make love Kira?", he asked serious now.

I nodded, I wanted to have sex but I did not know what it would change for us. I did not know if I was entirely ready, but how can you ever be ready for the unknow? He smiled at me as our lips reconected, the fear of letting go was the most intense emotion. I allowed Cameron to undress me and I aided him in his stripping, he looked so thin. 

The warmth of him body against mine made me feel safe, but the unknown lingering below made my heart race. I gripped his body and let go.

.

I woke up in the morning with my head buried in Cameron's chest. 

''Good morning beautiful'', He said kissing my forehead. ''Last night was perfect'', He said smiling brighter.

I had mixed emotions on the whole event, it was not as life changing as the television programmes would have you believe and I did say yes. It is just unsettling because it is another first in life taken by someone else.

''What?'', He asked.

''It is just weird, I guess'', I said as my face started to ache and tears followed. A keen reminder that I let the person that hurt me the most take a precious part of my love with him.

''Don't cry'', He said wiping away my tears.

''What is going on with you Cameron? You are up and down a lot lately'', I said moving away from him.

''I don't mean to be Kira. I really do love you'', Cameron said sitting up and looked like he was about to cry when I jumped out of the bed. ''I'm sorry'', He said.

''I think we need to take a break until you figure yourself out'', I said tears burning my eyes. I did not want to end a  relationship in this moment, but I also did not want to risk being hit again. Having sex did not fix our relationship or make things better. It just showed me I loved him enough to let him go. Something shiny caught my attention, an unopened condom wrapper.

"Cameron", I growled eyeing the packet.

Cameron wiped his eyes. He had been crying. ''Oh my god'', He said back and his eyes grew 3 times their usual size.

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