Setting Myself Free

Chapter 23~All's Fair in Love and War

There's something wrong with me.

I knew it the moment Blake shared his story with me. Looked at me with those bright blue eyes of his. Cried on my shoulder. Okay. Let's just say that I've been going crazy since that day.

Maybe I'm just sick. Maybe I have Blake-itis. It's rare. Only if you happen to go near a gang leader, then you'll catch it. Specifically, if you go near Blake, then you'll be certain to catch that rare disease.

Oh hell no. I can't have Blake-itis. Gosh. Is this how the queen dies?

Okay. Stop. I have to stop.

Second possibility: I'm thinking too much. That always seems to be the problem. My brain may be small, but it's overloaded with too much information. Information regarding stupid ideas, like me conquering the world with my evil laugh.

See? I'm thinking again. Is there an off switch for this thing?

Is there an off switch for your passionate love for the gang leader? my conscience asked, snickering in my head. What's with my thoughts today?

First off, I do not love Blake. I mean, I can't. Blake's...Blake. And I'm just...me.

How complicated can things get?

Love. I thought I knew what love is, but the definition always seems to evolve.

As a child, you think love is the feeling that you show to your parents. The whole 'I love you, mommy,' and 'I love you, daddy.' That should clear things up, right? As kids, love is what is right in front of us. Parents, grandparents, guardians.

But then comes the teen stages. I never went to any middle school, but I'm sure nowadays even a twelve year old could be dating someone. They think just because they're dating someone, that person will be with them forever, and they will get married and have kids.

And for those teenagers, love is an illusion. Something they want in their future; what they can't yet see.

Then there's the adult's definition of love. My parent's love. Blake's parent's love. Now their love is different. The whole 'I now have my soulmate with me. Life is complete.' Love blinds them. They never think of divorce, cheating on each other, death.

I'm in neither of these phases, so let me tell you what I think. Love is a deadly game, a use of persuasion, persuading you into a world of passion.

Now I'm not ready for that. And from my definition of love, I will not believe that I'm in love with Blake. I hardly know the guy.

That's a lie. He cried on your shoulder.

Oh, shut up. I feel like Jiminy Cricket is giving me a counseling session. And crickets with an umbrella doesn't seem like the best of ideas.

Maybe I should just talk to someone. Someone who could show great compassion and not care how much I talk. And I know just who to talk to.

~~~~~~

"Hey, Mike," I greeted, walking through the door. He gaped up at me, dropping his phone on his bed.

"Shannon," he exclaimed. "Don't you knock?"

I jumped on the bed, putting an arm around Mike. "Does it look like I care? Anyways, I have a problem. You see, I have...Blake-itis." Mike stood up and started laughing, pressing his hands on his knees as he bent over.

This was just weird. I have never seen Mike show so much happiness in his life. And this was just rude! I hate when people laugh at me. I start feeling stupid.

Mike wiped away a tear, sitting down once more. "Yeah, this isn't going to work," he said. I raised my eyebrows, giving him my famous perplexed look.