Chapter 25 - Let Me Fix You

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// Sorry for the very late update; this is mainly just a filler chapter for what's to come, but yeah, I've been ill this week with chickenpox so I've had no reason to do anything besides cry and try not to itch xD Don't forget vote and comment my loves. I really appreciate it. ❤ \\

I shot upright having been just inches away from taking a hold of Steve's hand. I wasn't sure if it was a dream, or if I was back in limbo again, but I was sure that I saw Steve. I felt it, and I knew it deep in my soul that Steve was not a fabrication. Cringey, I know.

I looked around the room and only just realised that it was pitch black. In a quick movement, I switched on the night-light and stared around the room wearily. I don't remember switching the light off. With a yawn, I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen, switching on the lights along the way. Bucky wasn't on the sofa, so I assumed he was in the bathroom. I quietly made myself a cup of hot chocolate and then went to where I stood earlier at the window. To my surprise, Bucky was stood out on the balcony, in just a pair of three-quarter length shorts and a glass of something in his right hand. I scanned the glass and realised it was a sliding door. With much debate, I opened the the door and stepped out to join him.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked before taking a large gulp of his drink. He didn't turn to look at me at all.
"Nope." I shook my head, holding my mug with both my hands and standing a few feet behind him. "You?"
"Same as you."
"Something like that." His voice quietened. I remained silent and studied his physique. It was impressive, just like Steve's, but something about him broke my heart. The scaring of where his metal arm joined to his shoulder. For some odd reason, I stepped forward and lifted a finger and touched over the scar. He didn't move away from me, but his body tensed, and for a while he let my finger trace the line of the pink tissue. But then he cut me short by abruptly turning around to face me, face cold and hard and emotionless.

"Sorry!" I stammered. "Sorry.. I'm sorry. About what you went through.. No-one should have to go through that."
I just stared at me for a while and then blinked, unclenching his very tight jaw. "Can I tell you something?"
"I suspect you're going to tell me anyway." I joked, receiving the smallest of twitches to his lips.
"A part of me wishes I hadn't been found by hydra, you know?" He said. "I wish I'd just died down there."
"I know that feeling all too well, but let me tell you something." I responded, quickly taking a small sip of my hot chocolate. "You wouldn't have helped me if you were dead. At least now that you know that what hydra made you isn't actually you, you can now do good. You can right your wrongs."
"How can I do that? I'm.. I'm a monster."
"No, no you are not."
"Then look at me, like actually look at me and tell me what you see." He stared me in the eye, and I could see how hurt he was and how much he was struggling within himself.

"I don't see a monster Bucky." I answered eventually. "I see a broken soul that needs fixing." His face flashed into a look of confusion and shock before returning back to emotionless. "Let me strike you a deal, huh? You help me get what information I need and whatever happens in the days to come, and you let me fix you."
"I can't be fixed Christina."
"Clearly, you haven't met me." I smirked and winked, trying to lighten the mood. He shook his head and let out a sigh.
"Great! Now you know how you can start helping me? Training me to fight." I suggested, changing the subject from being anything sensitive.

"What makes you think I'll be a great teacher?"
"Uh, you're the Winter Soldier, it can't get any better than that given the current situation."

And never have I ever regretted suggesting such an idea.

It was sunrise and I was now on the floor for the hundredth time with Bucky pinning me down and his hand at my throat.

"Okay, okay!" I gasped. He rolled his eyes and got off me with a huff.
"You're not going to live very long if you fight like that." He said to me, grabbing a water bottle at his garden table and taking a sip.
"Well, maybe if you took it a little easier on me-"
"You think your enemy is going to take it easy if you complain that they're hitting you too hard?" Bucky cut me off, watching me as I sat up and unties my hair, letting it fall on my shoulders. I just pouted like a child being scolded, fiddling with my hair bobble. "Christina, the battlefield doesn't have cushioned walls and second chances. You'll be slaughtered in seconds."
"Thanks for the motivation, Bucks. Thank you very much." I huffed, running a hand through my hair.
"I'm just trying to help. No help is better than the truth. Did you think I'd sugar coat it for you?" I looked up at him and just stared at him with his arms on his hips, sweat dripping from his forehead as if he had been in the rain.
"If I sucked that much, why are you sweating like a pig?" I asked, trying to internally shut off the hormonal responses going off inside me.
"You punch like my arm." He answered, lifting his metal arm. "If not harder. You've got the strength, but you don't have any structure to your fighting." He then held out his hand to me. "Get up."
"Fine, sir." I mumbled, taking his hand and allowing him to pull me up. He opened his mouth to speak when the doorbell rang, grabbing our attention.

"That must be breakfast." Bucky answered, letting go of my hand and going inside to answer the door. I quirked a brow and followed after him as he grabbed a shirt and quickly put it on, and then watched as he received a white box. The guy who delivered the box glanced once at me and blushes before glancing at Bucky and blushing even more. I looked down at myself and remembered that I was still in Steve's shirt. I brought a hand to my forehead and imagined myself smacking my face repeatedly. God knows how much of me Bucky saw during our fights. Another reason to embarrass myself.

I looked up when I heard the door slam shut and Bucky places the box on the coffee table.

"That's breakfast?" I asked, pointing to the box.
"Affirmative." He said before lifting the top of the box, and I squealed. I actually squealed. I jumped up and clapped my hands together like a little kid. In the box was a selection of foods from pancakes and waffles to chocolate croissants and omelettes.
"You're spoiling me."
"Well I've got to bribe you to stay somehow." He joked. I chuckled, taking a piece of a syrup covered pancake and putting it into my mouth. I groaned, licking my finger.
"It's like an orgasm in my mouth." I said without realising it. Bucky just looked at me with a raised brow before shaking his head and taking a piece of omelette.

"You know, Bucky, another thing I aim with you is to make you laugh. Or at least smile." I said, taking more pancake.
"And so you have a to-do list for Steve, too?"
"No I don't have a..." I trailed off when I realised that was the first time I thought about him since I woke up. I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt that I'd forgotten about him. He was stuck in limbo and I was enjoying pancake in his best-friend's place.

"Hey," Bucky grabbed my attention. "You'll save him. You've not got much to do besides get into his room."
I thought for a moment before a smile formed on my face. "I think I know who can help me get in." I said before licking my fingers and then rushing into my temporary room.

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