N I N E T E E N

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Colin:

April 29th, 2016, Hope Victoria Carter was announced dead.

She was killed in a car accident and the ambulance didn't make in enough time.

They tried everything they possibly could to save her but it was too late.

The drunk guy who ran into her car was later arrested and admitted that he did it and how sorry he was.

Sorry, can never bring someone back, though.

May 2nd, 2016, was her funeral.

The saddest day of my life.

While her death had hit me hard, knowing that this was real and that it has actually happened is worst. Lizzie asked me to do the Eulogy.

So here I was in front of family and friends that she probably didn't even know cared about her or was just here to act like they did, either way, I knew that I did.

"I won't start off by telling you that Hope Carter was the greatest person that ever lived and that she brightens everyone's day. Because that would be lying to you. When I first met her 10 years ago, she hated me. I, being the annoying 8-year-old boy that I was didn't care. Because for some reason, it drew me closer to her. I've seen her in her darkest moments and in her happiest ones and every day she surprised me. I never knew that she would fall in love with me the way that I was endlessly in love with her and always will be. The last...the last thing I told her was...that I loved her. She was my first love and I never got the chance to tell her that. To me, she was like a mystery, waiting to be solved. Little by little, she let me into her life and a piece of the puzzle was placed down. Of course, the puzzle will never be solved. She's always had to deal with so many problems in her life and I hate the fact that I didn't know from early. Her mother passed away when she was younger and her dad abused her and blamed her for the death. The world isn't a cruel place, it's the people who are cruel. Hope and I had a whole plan for our life after high school and she worked really hard not only in school but also at Em's Restaurant. Even when she was telling me to shut up or was in a mood, she made me smile. At the end, I think she was grateful for the life that she had. Although it wasn't fully the way she wanted it to be, the times I saw her laugh or smile showed me that she was happy. I was thankful for that. She would never believe me but I think she was named Hope because she is hope. Hope that things can get better. She always had so much in her and so much love to share with others but some didn't want to let people in. I will never forget her and to be honest it will be impossible for me to even be able to do that. Remember the good moments for they won't last forever. See Hope knew that there was no such thing as Happy Ever After and as much as the movies make us want that, it'll never happen. There will always be good and bad moments in life. It how we deal with them that matters. This is the reality. I thank everyone who was able to come here today and may you always keep Hope close to your heart. She was really a special one and there's no way that I'll ever find someone to come close to her."

I knew that she was trying to come to my house that day.

That's what breaks me the most that she wasn't able to make it.

Her casket was placed down in the dirt and I look down at the dirt while the tears stream from my eyes and I throw the first pile down.

The gang comes and hugs me and then my family. Next was Emma and her husband and then Lizzie.

"I have something for you."

She hands me an envelope that says my name on top and I immediately know that handwriting.

It's Hope.

Do great things in this world like I know you can and make me proud. Always remember that I love you and don't cry over me too much.

It was she just knew that she going to pass away before my but either way I was happy for the letter. Something I could keep close to me.

On May 4, there was a tombstone put up, right next to her mom.

Hope Victoria Carter
June 6th, 1998- April 29th, 2016
Daughter, Lover, Friend
"The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living."

I smiled at the stone because while I was very sad that she's gone, I'm glad that she got to live in the first place.

That's what really matters.

What most people don't realize that we shouldn't cry all day long because someone we cared deeply for isn't here anymore but smile at the times that you got to spend with them and never forget the memories you share with them.

I'm going to do something great in the world. Something that I know will make her proud of me.

I'm not sure what I'll do just yet but when I do it, I'll make sure I'll put her name in it. She gave me hope and she stills does.

I never thought that some simple 8-year-old boy would ever be able to get the attention of Hope because she wasn't really one to show it.

Now the 18-year-old boy had her love and her hope and with that, I will forever see the world differently than I did before.

Love is a funny thing.

A crazy emotion, people have for it. Kill for it. Act out for it.

While it does crazy things to everyone, it's still worth it in the end.

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