The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty - Brendon Urie

VII. If This Is Goodbye Then I'd Perfer a Hello

"Thanks so much for having another lesson with me," I said as I loaded my guitar back into it's case. It still feels weird calling it my guitar, but Brendon insisted that I do so. We stood at his front door, with me standing outside of his house and him standing inside. This has been my fifth lesson now, so my mother has trusted Brendon enough to have our lesson at his house instead ours.

Brendon shook his head and flashed a smile in return to my statement. "It's my pleasure." I blushed and pulled out the fifty dollars I had been saving to pay him for each lesson. I reached my hand out and gestured for him to take the money, but he instead only returned a confused look.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"For the lessons," I said shyly, afraid that I wasn't paying him enough. "I know we never exactly agreed on a price but I figured ten dollars was good enough per lesson, but I can always save up more and pay you back if ten dollars isn't enough." He looked as though he was about to roll his eyes as he lowered my hand back down to my side and sighed.

"Kristine you don't have to pay me," he chuckled. I tilted my head in a confused manner as I shoved the bills back into my pocket.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that since I was taking up your time you would like to get something out of it." I said nervously. He leaned against the door frame in amusement.

"'Take up my time'? Really?" He asked. "Kristine if I wanted to gain money from this I would've said something." He stepped down onto the concrete where I was and smiled. "Watching you slowly gain confidence from these lessons has been enough payment for me."

He was right, and I was surprised he was seeing a change in my behavior because Moe has been noticing it as well. Of course Moe has helped with my confidence too, but having two people I can count on in my life had helped me tremendously within the past few weeks. Me and Brendon had even started texting about things other than lessons lately. We talk about our favorite bands or our favorite books; he even knows what my family is truly like now.

Being friends with him has truly been great, and somehow I've even managed to keep those feelings for him hidden. But as I stood there, with Brendon slowly inching towards me with a wide grin, the anxiety started to build up inside of me and I slipped into an internal panic.

I kept telling myself that I was stupid, and that there was no way that someone like him could be interested in someone like me.

But it turns out that I was wrong, because before I knew it Brendon's hands were on my hips and my lips were against his. It lasted for a few seconds before I pulled away, afraid that a neighbor would see us.

"I should probably go," I said hurriedly. "I'll call you later." Brendon smiled and walked back into his house confidently. I scrambled for my phone and called Moe twice with no answer, so I decided to drive over to her house to deliver the news of what had just happened instead.

The whole way there i could still feel my heart beating in my chest, and I kept playing the conversation I would have with Moe in my head. I would deliver the news, she would freak out and ask for the details, I would be too shy to tell her the details and she would lecture me about my confidence again. That's how our chats usually end anyway, just because she cares so much.

I pulled into her driveway and walked right into her house without knocking (which still felt weird for me but those were the instructions she gave me on how to visit her house). I started to feel anxious because all of the lights were out, and I was about to turn back in fear that no one was home. Luckily though as I reached her room a strip of light made it's way through the bottom crack of her door and the sound of her pop punk music could be heard, so I guessed that she was home.

"Hello?" I said as I knocked on her door. "I'm coming in." I twisted the doorknob and shifted into her room. "And boy do I have news for-" my statement was interrupted by shock as I stood frozen, horrified. Laying before me was the terrifying reality of my best friend with a bullet in her skull and a note that read "Stay away from Brendon."