A Clutter of Teenage Thoughts

Drowning

I know how to swim

Quite well actually

But right now, it seems

I am drowning

I cannot swim anymore

My mind is not working

And my arms are no longer

Moving

I've been treading in

Troubled waters

For too long

Now

My head is going under

But still I push

Kicking

Trying to find a way up

I've been pulled down

For way too long now

The voices are telling me

"Swim down, swim down"

But you are telling me

Something different

"Come to me my love"

"Come to me"

Your blue eyes look bluer

From down here

They shine with such care

And love

But the voices tell me

That they'll love me too

Forever and always

Unlike you

They tell me

That you're the one who

Put me in the waters

In the first place

I loved you too much

And then you let me go

The voices sound so honest

But I don't know where to go

Swim up to you?

Or down to them?

I cannot tread these trouble waters

For much longer

I will not go

Not today I tell the voices

I begin to swim up now

But they grab my ankles

"Stay with us,

We love you"

"No you don't"

And with that I push

You grab for me

And I know I am safe

"I'm sorry"

You say

"I'm sorry"

Words I don't here often

Especially not from you

But I forgive you

You saved me

You see

And the voices are no longer

In my mind

Hopefully they'll stay gone

But it seems they always

Find a way

To come again another day