River.

Chapter 47: I almost died.

I saw Lindsay tense up and I could tell that she was uncomfortable.

"No. We just want to enjoy the trip. Thats all." I replied hoping to put Lindsay's mind at ease.

"Well I guess not everyone is as spontaneous as I am." She stated.

"Wait- you and River had sex last night?" I asked.

"Yep. Hot, steamy, sex." She boasted. "Even though River's an asshole I will say that he is absolutely amazing in bed. But this is just between us three okay? Plus, I don't want anything going wrong before he and I renew our wedding vows next week. "

I immediately felt sick to my stomach.

I left out of the bathroom abruptly before she could see my face. I felt light headed so I leaned against a tree and tried to stabilize myself.

Not too soon after, Lindsay came out.

Suddenly I saw River and AJ walking out of the guys restroom in their swimming trunks. River waved at me and smiled. That smile that I loved so much. The one that brightened my day. Then he kept walking.

Lindsay placed a hand on my shoulder and as soon as she did it literally felt like a knife had stabbed me straight through the heart.

I couldn't breathe. I started gasping for air as tears streamed down my face. I felt myself start to get lightheaded again and my heartbeat raced like crazy. Lindsay grabbed my arm to try to help me keep my balance.

"Cass! Cassidy whats wrong?! Stop moving! Just breathe!" She urged me.

After about 30 seconds of me having a full on panic attack I finally was able to catch my breath again.

"Cassie you scared the living daylights out of me!" She yelled. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head no and threw my arms around her. I cried and cried because I couldn't hold it in any longer.

It was like no matter how hard I tried to forget about River I just couldn't. He was causing me more pain than anyone had ever caused me. When he smiled at me I lost it because I knew how fake that smile was and what his true intentions with me were. I lost it because of how strong my feelings were for him. I lost it because he was breaking my heart and I was too afraid to tell him.

Then I heard his voice.

"Cassidy?"

I squeezed Lindsay signaling to her that I didn't want to talk to him.

"Now's not a good time." She said to him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I said now's not a good time." She repeated.

"I didn't ask you." He shot back. "Cassidy, what happened? Did Allison say something?"

I gained the strength to reply but my answer definitely wasnt what he expected.

"Yea she did. She assured me that you two are still very much in love."

"What do you mean? What'd she tell you?"

"Well she told me that you two had sex last night and are renewing your wedding vows next week." I responded while my tears refused to stop falling. "River you told me that you and her were falling on hard times and that you weren't even having sex anymore! You're such a fucking liar!"

Lindsay pulled me into a hug in an attempt to comfort me but that only upset me even more.

"Bien aime will you please let me explain?"