PharMercy: Pain

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Not smut, this is from the point of view of Mercy. It takes place after Overwatch disbanded, it's very sad so be warned. Mercy is in her late 20's here, Fareeha is in her mid 20's.

I seen pain everyday, it is my job. I see people with broken legs and broken arms, I see people who are dying from the inside out. But when I sit in my apartment at 3 o'clock, unable to sleep because sleeping brings out the darkest parts of my mind, I only feel pain. Yet, I am untouched, unbroken, I am alive. Why do I feel this pain? What is pain?

It was another restless night for me, I laid in bed but sleep never found me. I hadn't slept soundly in months, but rarely did I feel this restless. It was because of what I saw at work that day, in my private clinic. A young man was rushed in, he had to only be 18, he was a burn victim among other things. A building caught on fire and he was crushed under the collapsing building. I was able to save him and most of his limbs, he will recover. But nothing I did would get the picture of the Swedish headquarters out of my mind and what happened that night. The night Gabriel and Jack died. My mind was still so blurry from that night, the only thing I could remember was pulling Jack from the rubble, screaming at him to come with me. He was alive, barely. His face was cut open in several places, blood coming from every part of his body. I tried to make him come with me but he wouldn't leave.

I can't leave him Angela!

He's dying!

Help me look for him god dammit!

The sounds of his cries rang in my ears, I squeezed my eyes shut trying to tune out his screams. Jack died looking from Gabriel. I drug him from the rubble into my lab a few miles away, I don't remember how we got there. Jack was my first successful resurrection. But I couldn't save Gabriel, I thought he was too far gone. I didn't think Gabe could have survived the blow. All these years later, Jack had come back to me. He told me that there is a new public enemy, his name is Reaper. Or to us, his name is Gabriel Reyes.

I shutter and push thoughts of Morrison and Reyes from my mind.

It isn't your fault.

It isn't your fault.

Words I often repeat to myself on these nights. I sipped from the cup of tea between my thin hands, the air from the window blew around my body, I squeezed my eyes shut, this is pain.

_____

In the morning I woke up to my cat, she was purring into my ear. Her fluffy, white tail tickled my nose as I sat up. I fell asleep in the chair beside the window. I distantly wonder how I fell asleep with the demons that lurked in my mind that night. Alas, I had some sleep and that should do me just fine. It was a Saturday, I do not work on weekends therefore the day was mine. Rising from the chair, I crawled into the kitchen and fed the cat. She rubbed against my legs as a thank you before eating the soft food,

"Good morning, Luna." I murmur as she purred into the bowl.

I turned on my radio to listen to music, an orchestra rang through the modest apartment. I lazily pulled out a kettle and filled it with water for my tea. It boiled on the stove as I walked into my bedroom, the bed was untouched. The very thought of sleeping with Gabriel on my mind frightened me, I wouldn't let myself even get into bed. The pang in my chest returned as I thought about him,

It's not your fault.

In the bathroom, I combed my silky blonde hair and tied it out of my face, I brushed my teeth and in the closet I put on clothing; an oversized white button down and black leggings accompanied by fluffy blue socks. I left the bathroom and entered my bedroom, the small photo on my nightstand caught my eye before I returned to my tea, a candid photo of Fareeha and I. The photo warmed my heart, I had not seen Fareeha in almost a year now. Last time I saw the girl was before she left for Egypt, she told me she had to go home and protect her people. Fight for the innocent, that's what she always said. I looked closer at the photo, I didn't remember the last time I laughed like that. Fareeha made me happy, she also made me sleep. When her arms were around me, sleep wasn't so scary. I felt like she was my dream catcher, she could ward off all nightmares.

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