{16}: The Fallout

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Since you left I can't breathe, I was wrong baby, come back to me

The moment you walked I could see that I lost the greatest part of me,

Come back to, come back to me, I can't breathe...

...I.miss the way you hold in the middle of the night,

The things you showed me underneath the moonlight

I never let you know that I lost my way, how could I ever know it, my pride was in the way

         The Lylas- Come Back

That rough night turned into even a rougher week. I awoke Saturday morning dressing quietly slipping on some jeans and a sweatshirt over my dance outfit. I still haven't told my parents about Cam. But I think they knew already. I wanted to just take a break from this situation, but he kept invading my mind and in everything I did.

So to take a break, I was focusing on dance first these days. Seiko showed me Energy Dance Studio earlier this week when she dragged me shopping with her Tay this week.

That was my escape; dance.

I know running away wasn't the best thing, but for right now it was going to have to work until I wanted to confront the problem.

I grabbed my dance bag and held my shoes in my hand as I descended down the stairs, slipping them on like I did every day this week and locking it. I walked the steps, glancing at the house next door, wondering if he was feeling worse than I was. I decided to walk instead of taking  a taxi so I clear my head. I followed my routine by stopping at Starbucks getting a hazel frappe and a muffin was near Energy Dance Studio.

I opened the studio doors, greeting the secretary, looking into one of the dance studio doors. Each door was see through, but the rest was frosted glass. I had to sign up today to become a member since I was on the last day to use it for free.

"I'm going to pay today, Ms. Benton," as she gave me some papers as she chuckled to fill out as I slid my  credit card to her as she typed my information in the computer. She slid my card back to me as I slid it into the side of my duffle bag.

"I know, honey," She paused and said "Okay you're all set, Raina. Welcome to Energy Dance Studio...officially that is. You know where to go." She told me, smiling.

"Thanks." I said walking down the hall pass various classes that going on to an empty practice studio. I entered one of them, taking in the wall length mirror and the barre on the other side. I scanned the wall taking in the many dance quotes and my favorite-beautiful white piano that sat in the corner that had an iPod dock on top.

After dancing for the past two days with a wall that I built up, I still couldn't seem to release the angry I had for him.

Before I would think of completely letting go I would leave the studio before I think my parents would be up and sneak in.

Dropping my bag on the floor, I went into the changing room  slipping my jeans and shirt off. I threw my sweatshirt across the chair as I got iPod from my bag. I turned on a pop music to stretch and warm up to get my heart racing. I was breathing a bit hard as I rested my arms on my knees before dancing again.

I hit Shuffle as Maroon 5's 'Beautiful Goodbye'. I don't know how long I danced for, but it felt so good to get everything out as I closed my eyed tuning the world out getting into my zone.

I didn't realize there were tears silently running down my cheeks wet as I finished my leap. I stared at myself in the minute,my chest heaving up and down as I ran a hand through my sweaty hair.

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