Chapter 31- Am I Alone?

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'We are surrounded by all of these lies

And people who talk too much

You've got that kind of look in your eyes

As if no one knows anything but us

And should this be the last thing I see

I want you to know it's enough for me

'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need." ~Tenerife Sea, Ed Sheeran






The City of Bones was the same eerie cemetery as it always was. The bushes and grass and few trees were the only things that brought a semblance of comfort to me as I walked down the short path towards the mausoleum. The morning sun was beginning to peek over the edges of the trees causing me to smile. Today was a busy day, it was the day I freed Izzy, the day I gave Lydia the Institute she wanted and the day Alec got the chance to restore honor to his family name. I had sent Jorah to join the other three first Warlocks, I would join them later on tonight, a thought that frightened me but I knew I would be better off with them, my family was moving on and as of today they would no longer need me. We four would take a different form of war against Valentine, if it was necessary. Through my sad and turbulent thoughts I hadn't realized I was once again standing in front of the Silent Brothers, they sewed faces facing downwards to me. 

"I have come to give an item to the Clave in exchange for the full pardon of Isabelle Lightwood." I spoke out loud, my voice was strong and carried all around. I could picture me, my voice hardly rising above a whisper, it had been so long. 

'And what would this item be if not the Mortal Cup.' Their voices chimed in unison inside my head. I pulled the crystal from my pocket and held it by the chain, watching as the crystal dangled, turning and twisting, casting various hues of blue, green, gold and white around the room. The colors of our elements were represented in the crystal and I could feel the magi swirling around it. 

"The crystals of the Four Warlocks created from the breathe of an angel and the soul of a demon. With this and with the cup the Clave will be able to vanquish all those who threaten them." It was an empty promise but my words were so full of conviction I could feel the air turn and spark with their curiosity. 

'Is the pardon for the Lightwood girl all that you seek Jarolyn Bane?' They chorused and I nodded. Silence entered my head as I felt them pull away no doubt to converse over my proposition. It those few fleeting moments I heard Magnus explain that he was with Jace and Clary who was now in London going to speak to fellow warlock, Ragnor Fell. However that wasn't what concerned me. What caused me to pull away from Magnus and to stare emptily at the Silent Brothers. Clary was our sister, Magnus didn't have all of the details and Jace and Clary seemed adamant to not talk about it with him around but it didn't matter. Jocelyn, the woman who was missing and who had a child with Valentine had not one but three children by him. Michael Wayland wasn't our father, Valentine was. 

'We will accept your offer, lay the crystal in the center and if that is all, take your leave Jarolyn Bane.' Their thoughts pierced through my own and I simply nodded, I felt numb as I laid the crystal in front of me before turning and leaving. 

Sister. I had a sister and I wasn't there to learn the truth. I squeezed my eyes shut as I found myself collapsing on the cold stairs. I buried my face in my knees and wrapped my arms around them as I fought the urge to cry. I was no longer leaving behind a brother but a sister. Could I still go? Was it right for me to go? All this time Jace and Clary have spent together, now that we know the truth would they want me to continue looking for our mom? I had a mom, somewhere out there I had a mother who left Jace and I behind. I lifted my head and gnawed on my lower lip, I was scared, confused but most of all I was alone. Magnus was with my siblings, Jorah was with my other siblings, Alec and Lydia was planning their wedding, Izzy was still at the Institute but so was Max and Hodge. Everyone had someone but who did I have? I was here, sitting on cold stairs, lying for someone who would never know, I was letting someone I love marry a childhood friend, I was letting all of my siblings be together. What did I get? What do I get at the end of all of this? Where do I go when Valentine is no longer a threat? Would I stay here, stay with Jorah and the others, would I stay with Magnus? 

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