[ ineffable ] • poems. blurbs. excerpts.

if i sweep up the pieces, will we be together again? // poem

A part of me wants us to keep fighting, to still be together and push until we can really be together.

A part of me wants to at least be together for the rest of the year until college, when people naturally lose touch.

A part of me wants to stay good friends throughout this year and through college and then if things are ideal for us, reignite the flame.

A part of me wants this to end here and now, so that we don't build up our hopes and crash hard when things don't work out.

A part of me is just so sick of it all; so sick of thinking, of loving, of longing, of worrying. A part of me just wants to stop feeling.

A part of me hates myself for putting him through this, for putting us through this. A part of me wants to stop breathing.