The King of Antarctica

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August 8th, 7:30 PM.

I hate this stupid town. Every time a mom & pop goes under, another ugly chain store, donut shop, fast food craphole takes its place, until it looks like every other stupid town in America. And soon every other stupid town in the whole stupid, ugly world will look just like this one. It's disgusting.

Anyway, my computer's back up, and I got a new phone, but but I'm ignoring them both for a few minutes here to work out my issues on real live paper, like my ancestors did. The two weeks my computer's been down have actually been a really productive time for me. I've been getting plenty of sleep, been on time to work every day. I've been doing my hair...

So here's the thing: two weeks disconnected has taught me that I don't ever want to go back to where I was, attached to a computer every second of every day. For like years now, I've been sitting at a computer at work all day, then coming home and just getting on the computer and pretty much never ever doing anything else. There's almost never anything worthwhile on any of the sites I look at, it's all just sucking my soul until I die.

So instead of messing with any of that stuff anymore, I'm gonna write my book. I've been meaning to write one since, I don't know, high school at least, right? Yeah, at least. So tonight's the night I get started. And my goal is to have a first draft in six weeks. The research I've done tells me it shouldn't take any longer than that if I'm working on it every day, and really, what excuse have I got not to? Not a real world social life, that's for sure.

I mean, I could have a real world social life if I wanted one, probably. The past couple of weeks reminded me of what that's like a little bit.

Phil at work is interested in me. He halfway asked me out today, told me about some show he was going to, and asked me if I wanted to meet him there. I didn't say yes, but I halfway would have, if he hadn't done it in such a half-assed way. Anyway, I'm gonna busy with this book and stuff as soon as I finish this little missive and boot up the laptop.

Sorry, Phil, you suck.

It's a good thing I won't be on social media tonight, 'cuz I'd be at least tempted to talk about him and what a loser he is, couldn't even ask me out like a normal person. And I know I've gotten in trouble doing that before, so good thing I won't be on. Anyway, I do kinda like Phil, he's not a creep or evil or anything. But in the real-time real-world right now right now, I need to keep it all about me.

So then I saw on my phone (in the ten seconds I had to check it at lunch time), there's this new free game out today, "The King of Antarctica." It looks like a sim-despot thing where you try to take over countries and it's got these underwhelming retro graphics. I know it sounds like it's right up my alley, but I'm gonna be strong.

My book is gonna be about... Well, what genre should it be? A western? An old west populated only by kickass girls? Nah, that's too good an idea not to have been done to death.

I want to say before I even start that I'm only playing this game for like half an hour, and only for tonight. I've got a LOT of book to write, and I didn't even really get started yet here. Also, I've got a tendency to get a little involved in games like this and that's the last thing I need right now. Did I say a little? Yeah, a lot.

And I need to get up and feed the cat.

August 21, 11:15 PM

The computer crashed, and the phone is still charging. Just read my last entry - guess I didn't get started on that book just yet. Phil finally ended up asking me out more officially, and declared his intentions or whatever, but I said no. That guy's borderline psychopath full of himself, man, he's no fun at all. Anyway, I've been really busy, with the book coming up and Jesus, more than anything, more than everything, dear god, the King of Antarctica! Gotta tell you. I've been playing pretty much nonstop for a week or two. Morning, lunchtime, all night, and two weekends so far. I can't believe I'm not done with it yet. The game play is so simple, but so fun - you conquer pretty much every city on earth, one at a time. I've just made it up to King of all of Paraguay, and it's getting late but I've got a lot more shit to conquer before I sleep, more shit to conquer before I sleep.

Come oooon - why's it taking so long? I'm also finding out a lot of new strategies as I go along. Different ways to arm and organize the hordes. The sucky part is I can't find any forums that have tips or anything. It's just a bunch of people asking each other how the game is, and nobody playing it and then coming back to say how awesome it is. I guess that makes sense, since the game's so addictive... Holy crap, I just thought up the plot to my book - the heroine goes around murdering people that say "addicting" instead of "addictive." Instant worstseller. Anyway, I'm learning as I go. I can't really imagine that many other people are playing it. Nobody could've gotten as far as I am now. No serious gamer kids would put as much effort as I have into a game like this. Mark my words, I will be the first female King of Antarctica, and very soon.

October 7, 5 AM

I almost forgot about this notebook. CPU crashed. I'm the King of Brazil, the King of Mexico, the King of the USA, Russia, and China. Unfortunately, there's no way to tell how much farther I've got to go. I checked out a map of the world online at work, but I couldn't tell really how many cities are left. But it couldn't be long now, could it? Also, for the last week or two, I've been having these dreams about Antarctica just about every night. About being there and freezing my figurative nuts off. There's a castle and I'm visiting the king, right? But every time I dream about it, the king is a different person. He's always a different little hacker kid, and the old kings, the other different hacker kids, they're not dead or anything, they're all in the throne room crowd.

When I checked that map, I also found out a little bit about Antarctica. There aren't any cities, supposedly, and only a few dozen people live there.

So when I get to that point in the game, I'm not expecting there to be any cities there. I mean, when I click the mouse to engage Antarctica, it's gonna be just the one item there, and it's the whole continent. That's when I'll know I'm about to win.

Damn, I keep meaning to post somewhere about the cat running away.

October 15, 10:25 AM

I was supposed to be at work today, but I'm really closing in. My dreams are all screwed up now: there are a couple hundred people in Antarctica, including some women. So I'm not going to be the first girl king, huh? Half-second bummer the first time I figured that out, but screw it, I've come this far. The castle's all made of ice and everyone's huddled up together there, but they've got parkas and stuff. I think it'll be comfortable enough.

Every night a new king talks about future conquest. Weird, since the new King of Antarctica always just took over the rest of the world, right?

October 16, 6:02 AM

I finally made it. I'm here. One click to start the engagement, then maybe three minutes before I'm off on my journey south, to be the King of Antarctica until someone else wins.

I've been briefed, of course. I know what's going on down there, the stuff no one's been posting on the forums, about what we're all really up to.

I guess like all of the other kings, I'll be most excited about taking over my own town. When I say taking over, of course I mean laying waste to, and for real. Good riddance. I've always hated this place.

Maybe when it's all over, someone will find this book in the rubble and get an idea that I was the one who ripped this place a new one. Then again, once I've exacted my full vengeance, there might not be any rubble left.



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