fall ↠ hale | 1

twenty one

tove lo - scream my name

" when I'm dead and gone, will they scream my name? "

I wiped away the tears under my eyes without any emotion left in me. I had cried myself dry. All I wanted now was to forget. Hopefully the lacrosse game would allow that. But lacrosse wouldn't be the same without Matt.

I had heard on the news that his body was found in the river just after the incident at the station. He'd drowned. It was bitterly ironic; the thing he was trying to get revenge for ended up being his demise. It didn't kill him the first time so it came back for more.

As much as I hated the kid, it felt like something had been torn out of me when he died. It wasn't the fact that Matt Daehler was gone forever. It was the fact that he was so young, and if someone had been ruthless enough to end his life, who knows where they would stop.

His death also meant that someone new was the kanima's master. My bets were on Gerard. Who else would be ruthless and power-hungry enough to murder a teenager? He had his whole life ahead of him, and now it's been ripped away because one man wanted more power and control than he could probably handle. And the bloodshed won't stop. It won't ever stop. There would always be more death unless we could stop him. Derek was probably right when he said I was useless and couldn't do anything right. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to try to prove him wrong.

My face was tight and raw from the salty tears that covered it moments ago. Nothing that couldn't be helped by a little makeup, though. I had to put in extra work as I looked almost dead, but once I was finished, I was back to normal.

When picking out my outfit, I was so close to grabbing my leather jacket, when I realised how much it reminded of Derek. He always wore his leather jacket. With no expression or signs of emotion, I tossed it into the trashcan and walked out, putting that part of my life behind me.

•

When I arrived at the school, it was already buzzing with activity. I had to push my way through the crowd to reach the bench, where Scott and Stiles were sat.
"You seen Allison?" Scott asked Stiles hopefully.
"No, you seen Lydia?"
"I haven't seen either of them, but if you want my honest opinion, something tells me Allison isn't going to show," I said bluntly, taking a seat next to Stiles.
"Anyone have any idea what's going on?" He questioned.
"Not yet,"
"It's going to be bad, isn't it? I mean, like, people-running-for-their-lives-screaming-maiming-blood-everywhere-kind of bad,"
"Well, I doubt Gerard is going to miss such a good opportunity to carry out another massacre," Scott shot me a questioning look. "Sorry. Not helping,"
"Guys," Stiles said shakily. "The other night, seeing Matt hit my dad over the head while I was lying there, unable to move...it just...I - I want to help, you know. But I can't do the things that you can do. I can't," His voice was filled with longing and hopelessness.
"It's okay," Scott said, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"We're losing, dudes," The human shook his head.
"What are you talking about?!" Coach shouted, appearing between Scott and Stiles' heads. "The game hasn't even started yet! Now, out on your helmet and get out there! You're in for Greenberg,"
"What? What happened to Greenberg?"
"What happened to Greenberg?!" He muttered disbelievingly. "He sucks, you suck...slightly less!"
"I'm playing? On the field? With the team?" Stiles' jaw was on the floor and Scott and I shared a look of pride. Stiles had never been able to play before and this was his chance to show Coach what he was made of. It was also his chance to make his father proud and impress Lydia. That is, if she actually showed.
"Yes, unless you'd rather play with yourself!"
"No, I already did that today. Twice," Stiles said casually.
"Gross, Stiles," I muttered, wincing. Of all the things in the world that he could have said, I think I'd least like to hear that.
"Get the hell out there," Coach growled through gritted teeth, slapping Stiles on the back. He jogged onto the field, looking as proud as can be. His father had clearly noticed too, but he just looked baffled as to why his son was being allowed to play.
"Pretty sure I'm not allowed to be here during the game so I'm going to go find the girls," I told Scott, who was staring intently into space.
"Who am I kidding? Allison's not coming, you said it yourself," I sighed and sat back down, recognising that Scott needed a serious pep talk.
"Look, Scott. I'm sorry for being so cynical earlier. It's just...everything is so crazy and it just doesn't seem to be getting better and the way I deal with that is pessimism. I'm sure Allison will show and I'm sure nothing will happen. You can't always expect the worst, because that eats away at you until you've lost all hope. I might deal with stuff in that way, but your way of dealing with stuff is to always have hope and make the best out of any situation. And that's how you've gotten so far. So don't give up, because that's not the Scott McCall I know. It's not the Scott any of us know. Giving up is what people...people like Derek do. And look how far that's gotten him. You're already more of an alpha than he'll ever be and it's because you know how to deal with bad situations. You lift your pack up and that's why they've stayed with you through everything. And, hey, if things do get really bad, then you know that you've always got a group of people who will have your back no matter what. We're not giving up on you, Scott, so don't give up on yourself," I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a quick smile before going to find Lydia and Allison, leaving him to think about what I'd just said.