Chapter 22 - Neither Dead or Alive

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The doctors had been dealing with Steve for two hours. Two hours of sitting in a waiting room watching Nat and Tony come and go to speak to the doctors and neither of them telling me anything. I hadn't changed my clothes either. I didn't want to. I got used to the metallic smell anyway. Nat was sat beside me with her legs pulled up onto the seat. She'd been staring off into the distance for some while now.

"You should have let us get to him." She said after a while.
"Could you have stopped the bleeding?" I asked her. When she didn't say anything, I nodded with a sigh. "Exactly. What happened was inescapable and it was going to happen regardless-"
"We could have got him to the hospital a lot quicker-"
"It wouldn't change anything!" I snapped. "He's still in there. I'm still covered in his blood and you'll all still be ignoring me regardless." I shook my head and looked away from her and running a hand through my hair. I could tell they blamed me for what happened. That I was the reason we fought the Shadow. I was the reason he got that close to the soldier. And I couldn't blame them. I was the reason for everything happening. And now Steve could be dead and it was all because of me.

Me and Nat sat up when the doctor approached us. They hired one of their specialist doctors to make sure Steve was being properly cared for.

"Is he okay? Can I see him him now?" I asked, my voice coming our frail and weak.
"His state only allows for family to see him." The doctor answered me with one of those apologetic looks. I shrunk back in my seat, frowning.
"I think she's the closest family Steve's got right now." A voice sounded behind the doctor. It was Tony with his hands in his pockets and a tired look on his face. "Let her see him. I'll be in there with her." After a couple of seconds the doctor nodded, and then Tony took me to his room. The whole way there I was just thanking him trying hard not to cry.

I stopped at the window of Steve's room first, and watched him through there. He was all wired up and clean. His face clear of any sign of blood. You wouldn't have thought that just under three hours ago he had been haemorrhaging. I brought a hand up to the window, my emotions now whirling around inside of me, unable to stick to one emotion at a time.

"Come on, I'll explain what's going on." Tony said softly, nodding towards the inside of his room. I followed him in, unsure as to whether to sit beside Steve or on the other side of the room. In the end I decided to sit beside him, lifting my hands up to hold his. His skin was freezing. Too cold for him to be alive and yet the heart rate monitor was beeping as normal.

"He's in a comatose state." Tony spoke into the silence of the room. "Whatever was happening inside him, it sent his body into shock and now.. Now he's in a coma."
I listened to Tony as I stared at Steve. He didn't look like he was in a coma. He looked like he was asleep. Like all those times I woke up beside him. He looked at peace and asleep. But when I touched him, I didn't get the feeling that he was in a coma.

"He's not in a coma." I spoke before I realised what I said.
"Is it that difficult to understand that?" Natasha sounded at the door. "The doctors looked at him, scanned him and tested him. He's in a coma, Chris. No matter how much we don't want him to be."
"I'm not saying it out of denial." I replied to her coldly. I didn't understand what her sudden harshness was for but I wasn't going to take it lightly. "He's cold, like a dead body and yet he's breathing like he's sleeping. He's not in a coma. He's not dead. But he's not alive either."

Tony came round to the other side of Steve's bed, looking at me with one of those 'explain yourself' looks.

"Some people believe that your body is able to go into a state of limbo. Where you're in between life and death. It's possible that whatever the Shadow did, they triggered that in Steve."
"And how do you know that?" Nat asked.
"My powers. Some of them just come to me, like my wings and my telekinesis where I just know what to do. I think I'm developing another skill."

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