Chapter 66

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Throughout the entire night, either Linds or Midge had been the one to hold my hair back as I vomited into the toilet.

Every time this ever happened to me, I’d always say the same thing – I am never drinking again.

But of course, whenever the opportunity arose, I did drink again. And again and again. And found myself in the exact same position.

I was past caring about everything that had gone on between Matt and I – I couldn’t be bothered with thinking about it. I was more concerned about my stomach and if I was going to throw up again.

Midge and Linds soon seemed to sober up and soon the three of us fell asleep by the toilet and so, consequently, when I woke up, I felt like death.

My stomach still felt a little odd, and Midge and Linds were passed out around me in an awkward manner. As I noticed that, and I thought to myself that their backs were probably aching, my entire body began to ache.

I stumbled around, trying to steady myself as I looked up into the mirror.

I knew that I couldn’t go back to my grandparent’s house looking the state that I did. My hair was a mess – filthy too – and I looked like I had been dragged through a hedge. I probably smelled extremely bad too.

“Linds?” I whispered so as not to wake Midge up as I shook midge ferociously. “Linds, wake up.”

“Mmm” she grumbled as I shook her more and more. “What is it? What time is it?”

“I don’t know” I told her, becoming aware of the pounding headache that was coming on. “But can I please take a shower?”

She nodded, muttering something about not waking her or Midge up again and telling me to take a shower in the main bathroom.

I hurriedly stumbled out of the way of my two clearly hung over friends and wandered through the hallway and to the main bathroom.

As I walked in and closed and locked the door behind me, it seemed so clean and pristine, I almost felt bad for taking a shower and messing the place up.

Linds’ parents were never home, and Midge lived there most of the time, and so it was pretty weird how it managed to stay so clean.

Realising that I was thinking of the most random and pointless things, I took off my damp clothes and stepped into the sower, letting the cool water run over my body an relax it from the events of the previous night.

I was still completely tense about everything that had happened between Matt and I – and angry also, and so it was great just to feel the knots leave my muscles as the stress melted away temporarily.

I knew that I was going to have it all to face once I returned back to my grandparent’s house, and even more so once Matt and I were alone.

I just didn’t know what to say to him – I didn’t know how to react to him. I didn’t feel as angry as I had the night before, but I still felt used in a way. I knew that I would have wanted it at the time, and I could see where Matt was coming from when he decided not to tell me.

But still, it was humiliating and I wished he had just come out and told me on the numerous times when I probed him for answers.

I eventually dragged myself from my thoughts and from the shower. I never wanted to leave the warmth of the flowing water, but I felt guilty for leaving it to run for too long in someone else’s house.

I stepped out, dried myself, and once more put on the horrid, damp clothes that I was stuck with until I returned to my grandparents. I didn’t even really know why I had bothered to shower in the first place.

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