I Beg You | CAPTAINSWAN AU

Chapter 38 | Brokenness

He had to say it. He wouldn't be able to sleep knowing she'd be out there feeling unloved.
All he would think was be the image of her curled in a ball in her bed and forcing herself to sleep instead of crying.
He knew that from experience.

He wanted to say it there, tell her he loved her but he knew that would force her to say it back.
He knew she loved him.
She just didn't say it because saying it out loud would make it real and it felt like it would change everything.

"Sweet dreams."

---

He couldn't stop touching her the next day, no matter how much he tried.

They ended up agreeing that pretending they weren't aware of her birthday was just the shittiest idea ever, and instead, they filled her with love.

"Yeah Emma I'm still angry at you for not bringing a cake." Will teased her.

"Well, maybe- I don't know- we could go to that diner near here after school, and if you guys want, spend the afternoon there. We could even get a cupcake, blow some candles?"

She was sitting on Killian's lap so gladly she didn't see his face.
No one answered at that right then, because one thing was pretending they didn't know about her birthday, another was telling her we could all celebrate at the diner near school when they all would be celebrating at her house for her surprise.

But now, how could they tell her no without hurting her?
She was literally asking them if they wanted to celebrate with her. She was feeling so good and confident that she actually gained the courage to ask them, and now they were going to break her expectations.

"Oh Emma, I'm so so sorry I really can't today. My presentation is tomorrow, remember? I have to train it a lot." Elsa said.

"Killian and I have the music exam. We were planning on training today, right Killian?" Jefferson said too.

"Hun hun" that was all he said.

The thing was, she had always been good with lies. And they were lying. They were just giving her some excuses to not spend the day with her.

"Yeah, you're right I should have planned this earlier... I can't just come here and ask."

"We could plan something on this weekend." Anna said and she knew it was just to make her feel better.

"Yeah maybe..."

As planned, Killian stayed at the bus station with her while Jeff drove everyone to her house without her knowing.

"You really have to go train today? Maybe I could convince my father to let you have dinner with us tonight."

"I don't want to give you guys trouble. We'll talk on the phone, okay?"

It broke him inside to see her hiding the brokenness inside her.
She thought no one wanted to spend her day with her.

"Yeah you could at least tell me the truth."

"What?"

"Please if you were going to be with Jeff after school, he'd be driving you."

"He just had some things to do first and I wanted to accompany my girlfriend on the bus on her birthday."

He was making her a fool, and it hurt him.
But they were almost there, they couldn't ruin the surprise now.

Her bus stop came and she got up.

"I'm sorry, Emma."

"Yeah, i-it's okay."

---

Instead of leaving in the 2nd bus stop to his house, he got off the bus right in the next one where Jefferson was waiting for him in the car and they parked the car on the backside of Emma's house, running inside to get there before Emma.

The lights were off and David was at the backyard's door guiding them inside to the dark living room where everyone was.

"Now we just wait." Mary Margaret said and Elsa and Anna giggled with excitement.

| MHUHAHAAHHA GUYS
I had to give some LITTLE angst for those who thought I was going soft

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I SWEAR SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA CRY OF HAPPINESS FOR HAVING YOU