Red Camellias

Chapter 1

The night was warm. The wind blew a soft breeze that felt nice, rustling my hair and clothes.

'I just want everything to be as it was before...' I remember these words as I am lying on the roof of some abandoned building. 'Such mean words' I thought.

I recall his expression as he told me that. The pain in all his little gestures. The faint blush that refused to be washed away by his tears. Tears. Those crystal clear blue eyes I loved so much glared at me as they overflowed with tears. That intense blue gaze was still loving me while eying me in pain. Hurt. Angry. Apologizing. Begging.

It all made me want to die faster...

Chuuya has never looked a me that way, not even when- well, it doesn't matter.

I felt lost. For the first time in my life I felt truly lost. I had no idea of what to do yet I knew I had to do something. I could not leave Chuuya like that! I never wished to hurt him in any way! 'You toyed me all you wanted back then' I did not, Chuuya, please! I couldn't bear it... However, I lacked all courage. I was a coward.

I stood on the edge of the building. The building had more or less four or five floors. Would it be enough? If I took the final step forward...would it be enough?

"Dazai-san" Atsushi. Strong and unwavering. I turned as casually as I managed and flashed him that usual goofy smile. "Something the matter, Atsushi-kun?"

"Yes"

His firm words were giving me a bad feeling. Nevertheless I continued my act. "And you came all this way here just to get my advice? Aww, I'm flattered, Atsushi-kun. So, what is it that you need my help for?"

"News from the Port Mafia" What? "Chuuya-san has gone missing"

I felt my heart be squeezed by guilt. "I'm sure he is fine" I shrugged it off with a grin.

"Dazai-san" He stepped forward. "There's no news from him for a week now. No one knows where he went and the last time he was seen was with you" He paused. "The Port Mafia is accusing the agency of kidnapping him"

Great. Just great. Could things get any better?

I looked away towards the city. All its lights made the earth a reflection of the stared night sky. The wind still blew softly and Atsushi waited patiently. "I'll figure something out"

The boy sighed in relief and looked considerably lighter. Shame. I was starting to like the idea of Atsushi growing into a strong and unwavering gentleman. I was proud of that thought. He kind of ruined it.

"I'm glad that Kunikida-san was right"

"What do you mean?"

He flinched and his eyes looked at all directions except me as he stuttered. "K-Kunikida-san said that uh...when it comes t-to Ch-Chuuya-san, you are always up for it" He giggled, scratching the back of his head. "That's all"

I watched him for a while and burst into laughter. "Kunikida sure has some funny theories about me!"

"He also said that you needn't worry about the agency. Just worry about Chuuya-san" Atsushi's gaze told me all he was hiding in those words. He was such a kind person.

I covered the distance between us and pet his head. "Thank you" And headed towards the stairs. "Oh, by the way. That mark on your neck, it looks like Akutagawa is a little bit rough on you, huh?"

"This is not-! We were fighting!"

"There are a lot of names for it~"

"He hates me!"