I lay in my bed, barely sleeping, and I’m thinking. Its 2:30 in the morning and I still haven’t fallen asleep. I knew something is wrong with me. I always had problems sleeping, ever since I entered high school, the only way I am able to sleep is if I take sleeping pills which I didn’t take tonight, and that is why I am laying in my bed, so, so tired, wanting to close my eyes and falling into a deep sleep. I’ve been lying for hours, convincing myself that I am asleep, when I know I’m not. My eyes burned from overuse. I got up from my bed and paced around my room. This only happened to me when I run out of pills and that isn’t often.
When did my life become hell? Oh yeah, a year ago when my parents were killed or murdered I should say. What do you do when you wake up from a good night sleep to see both parents gruesomely murdered in their bed? I remember seeing the blood, so much blood. They were hacked to pieces with an axe. Who could do something like that? Why didn’t they kill me too? Now, because of that incident I’ve become an insomniac. After the murder I’ve been so scared to fall asleep I was afraid that person would come and kill me too in my sleep. But I stopped thinking that because I’m still alive a year later, but the insomnia is still here. My doctor said the best he can do is prescribe sleeping pills, but insomnia is mental and only the person who has it can make it go away and he said I’m still afraid, even if I think I’m not, which doesn’t make sense to me.
Why? I ask myself that so many times.
I wrapped my arms around myself and bit my lip to keep from crying, that will only make my eyes hurt even worse. I looked at the time. 3:29 am. It was almost time! I ran to my window seat and peered out into the snowy backyard. I looked up at the sky and saw that the moon was full. I eagerly looked into the forest. Waiting
Waiting for the wolves. Every full moon at 3:30, a wolf comes out of the forest and into my backyard and he sits there and looks at me. I look at him. I don’t know what it is, but I like when he comes. He makes me feel safe and happy. He never changed into his human form, nor did I change into my wolf form. I never had the courage to go outside and confront him. I sighed as I waited for him to appear. I stared out the frosty windows, feeling the burn of my eyes, I rubbed them furiously. I knew I wasn’t getting any sleep tonight.
Stupid chronic sleep disorder.
The wolf appeared. I smiled crept onto my face. I watched the big brown wolf approach my house. He sat under my window looking up at me. I looked down on him. He lay on his side. I wish he’d transform. I wanted to see what his human form looked like. But even as a wolf I could tell he’s handsome. I rested my head on my arms as I looked down at him. I sighed happily.
Then another wolf, slightly smaller and a reddish color emerged from the woods and nudged the brown wolf in his head, he looked away from me, I frowned. I got to his feet and jogged back to the edge of the yard.
No! He can’t leave already! I thought sadly, I started to resent the red wolf. The brown one looked back at me. I could swear he winked. I sighed again and went back to my bed. I sat on my uncomfortable bed and whimpered. I was miserable! I closed my eyes but that did make sleep come! I’m not sure on how long I remained like that, but I heard a soft howl outside my window. I almost ran to my window seat. I looked and saw the brown wolf sitting on his hind legs. I smiled with satisfaction, he came back to me! The emptiness I’d felt was now gone and I felt happy and…well…not miserable. I ignored my burning eyes and looked into his. I’m not sure how long we stared at each other but I felt safe…truly safe when he was here. I smiled as I shut my eyes and this time I was asleep.