The Signs As Aunts

80 1 0


Aries: Jessica, 32, owns a scary German Shepard, fights with her siblings at family reunions, brings her dog EVERYWHERE, borderline makeup guru

Taurus: Melissa, 51, sends everyone cat videos, has the best hair in the family, always leaves nice comments on her friend's and family's Facebook posts, and is an avid wine drinker

Gemini: Stephanie, 45 (but tells people shes 38), makes everyone call her "Aunti Stephie", uses her family like a babysitting service, and always smells like anti-aging creams. Genuinely likes seeing people happy. 

Cancer: Julia, 33, sits at the kids table, married to her career (she's a marine biologist)but does volunteer work when she can, takes her family to aquariums and the ocean all the time. 

Leo: Chloe, 30, owns a stunning purse collection, almost always the center of attention, she slays beer pong, Christmas is boring without her (lowkey Grandma's favorite).

Virgo: Samantha/Sam, 31, a successful librarian, old soul, gives amazing reading suggestions and awesome books as Christmas gifts, looks cutest in wire rimmed glasses

Libra: Tana, 28, doesn't have kids, subtle vegan (and likes to talk about it with Pisces), likes to talk politics and justice at family events, ransacks nordstrom rack in her free time, everyone comes to her for dating advice.

Scorpio: April, 70, voted most likely to succeed in high school, richest in the family, loves wine more than her husband, brings the expensive liquor to family events, dominates monopoly. 

Sagittarius: Sierra, 30, has the youngest soul, always parties with Leo, very, very gay, married to Pisces, and has the best eyebrows in the entire family, and loves to travel.

Capricorn: Tiffany, 34, lawyer, always smells like freshly brewed coffee, more gorgeous than she knows, slays red lipstick, in charge of organized all family functions.

Aquarius: Josie, 42, the best baker, in charger of cooking at holidays (if you can get her to show up) because she's so picky, teaches science, lowkey annoys grandma.

Pisces: Rose, 29, plant lesbian, botanist, cherishes her succulents like her adopted children, married to Sag, vegan, proud yogi, and loves tea almost as much as she loves her cats. 

Zodiac SignsWhere stories live. Discover now