Chapter 45: Outside Your Comfort Zone

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December 9th 2015


Rumors had begun to fly, that I was going with Noah. It was a daunting process having whispers break out about me- it wasn't a new experience yet it still didn't stop it from being daunting. No matter what I had to face in the next few weeks, I didn't care, I don't regret asking Noah and watching his whole face light up. I made him smile like that and that was all that mattered. This time around I was going to be honest, I couldn't risk losing Noah again.

There was a group of my fan girls that kept arguing with people- some saying there was no chance in hell I'd be going with Noah as more than friends and others arguing it made sense. To be honest could any one remember a time where I had a steady girlfriend? Of course not, because I never had one. I'd bring the odd date to a dance or game but I never brought the same girl twice. I hadn't slept with any girl before because I was trying to honor my dad and how he saw love or at least that was what I tried to make myself believe. Even then I think a part of me knew that this wasn't what I wanted to do, I just wasn't ready to accept what that meant yet.

I don't know how people found out already or where the rumours came from. But I didn't care, I was going with Noah and nothing was going to ruin that. The only thing I was worried about now was Alec. He would have heard the rumours by now and he was already a mess, I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he was already hurting.

It seemed these days I was always searching him out. Trying to figure out what was going on in Alec's mind. He had always been an open book, but now he was going through a lot, especially money problems. It was like I didn't know how to read him at all. Even though he had opened up to me the the other day, I still felt as if there was something else going on, something else that caused him to seek out Noah as an escape.

I knew he liked Noah more than he was letting on, I knew he was lying when he said it was just some fun, to Jaxon the other day. After everything he had done for me, I owed it to him, to make sure he was okay, with Noah going with me to the dance.

It still didn't hurt less knowing one of my best friends betrayed me. But noah and I weren't dating and I wasn't blaming Noah- so why should I blame Alec? I never asked him how he felt, or who he liked. I just always assumed he'd tell me. I never paid any attention to him or his life the way he did mine. He always made sure he was someone i could go to, someone I could trust. Yet I wasn't that for him, I never did anything for him.

I had told Noah I was trying something new about being honest. If I were honest, I had been a crappy friend these past few years and yet my friends seemed to still stick by me. I wouldn't have blamed them if they had left me; cause I was in a crappy headspace for so long. I wasn't honest to the people who were the closest thing to family, that I had. Now, I was going to fix that- I still had a year and a half before everyone went off to college (Well Alec was leaving this year). But that only meant I had to act faster with him.

Starting now. We may have had a somewhat bonding moment a few days ago. But that hadn't repaired the rift in our friendship. I needed to make sure he knew he could come to me with anything and that I would always be there for him. Alec's feel good- happy go lucky side of him needed to come back and I was making it my mission to bring it back.

"Alec!" I practically cheered as I saw him. He swiveled on his heels to see who was yelling his name like a lunatic.

"Silva, what's up?" He asked, confused to see my over joyful presence.

"Well I thought after practice and Jaxon's detention. You, me, Jaxon and Chad could got for pizza- my treat. There are no more games till the new year anyway- so why not have a chill afternoon.

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