Foreign Feelings

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Gaara's POV

Even though (Y/N) said she would never lie to me earlier today, her eyes clearly betrayed her words. Why would she lie to me? What did I do to earn her mistrust? Is it possible she still doesn't trust me? A surge of what seemed to be unease pierced through my heart. What was that feeling? It heart hurts. Why doesn't my friend trust me? I don't like feels like I've felt this way before but I...I can't grasp it clearly. A light throbbing surged through my head and a low grunt escaped my lips from the pain.

My hand instinctively squeezed (Y/N)'s hand tightly. I held my head in my other free hand and turned to look at (Y/N). She was sound asleep, her cheeks slightly rosey from sleeping on both sides of them, her (h/l) (h/c)  hair fell across her innocent face. Her mouth was slightly agape with a bit of saliva running down the side of her lip. I held in a giggle at the sight of my kind friend. I dropped my free hand and reached out to wipe the saliva from her lip. As I did so, she stirred slightly and closed her mouth, a smile forming on her lips.

As I wiped the saliva on my shirt, I wondered what she was dreaming about, not caring for  what mark would be left on my fabric from the liquid.

Dreams... I wonder what it felt like to dream. As much as I wanted to sleep, a voice inside my head was screaming to me not to sleep, it was like an extremely important warning. I don't know what it was about but I listened to it anyway, I had a feeling of anxiety at the thought of myself sleeping. I felt like I would awaken something if I did so. I don't know why I would think of such a thing but I just did, and I didn't find the thought comforting in the slightest. A shiver shot through my spine and I twitched in response.

I frowned. I feel so alone whenever (Y/N) goes to sleep even though she's lying down right next to me. Her unconscious body doesn't notice my anxious feelings and expressions the way her awakened and energetic one does. When (Y/N) is awake, it's like the entire world is awake with her. Her bright spirit has the ability to warm me to the core, a feeling I can never get enough of.
Unlike the feeling I had when I was in that gourd. I don't know how long I had been in there but it must've been longer than I thought, considering that I forgot how to use speech itself. It was as if I hadn't spoken in a thousand years. I wanted to remember my past but then I didn't. Everything about my past seemed to give off such a negative vibe, every time I try to remember or get a few traces of it, my head pounds painfully. I know I won't like it if I try to remember but I have to know.

No... I need to know where I came from.
(Y/N) also wants to know where I came from. All that time I spent in that gourd, I lost every single one of my memories, the only memory I had of myself was my name. Why though? Why is that I wonder?

My eyes narrowed as I tried to think for the reason, my thoughts became interrupted as I felt (Y/N) stir next to my sitting self. The only piece of her body that didn't move was her hand. My fingers were intertwined with her tiny ones, although my hand was enclosed around hers while hers remained opened. Since she was asleep, she wasn't aware that I was holding onto it. Ever since I came out of the gourd, I always held her hand while she slept, however I would always wait until she was fully asleep before I would do so. I found the gesture extremely comforting and relaxing, the warmth of another made me feel like I wasn't alone. I wanted this so badly when I was in that gourd. I was terrified of that thing, it scared me to bits when (Y/N) would mention it.

I looked back at (Y/N) once more. Even though I couldn't sleep, I enjoyed watching her sleep. Every time I watch her, I usually imagine myself asleep too and it usually feels like I'm sleeping with her.

As I gazed down upon her sleeping face, my eyes lingered down to her bandaged chin.


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