CHAPTER 49 Wait It Out

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copyright 2017 Chris Smith  All rights reserved.

"Locked in a prison...of my own making."


With Mom still in the Hospital, Dad and I made a trip to the Doc's first thing in the morning. If we timed it right we'd be one of the first appointments there. Then we could get out at a reasonable time so Dad could go back to the Hospital to check on Mom.

Me: Dad and I are going to see the Doc and get checked out.

Brother: Ok. If I don't hear something good about Mom I'll drive up on Thursday.

We were one of the few families who went in as a group to the Doc's. We had our appointments together. We all stayed in the same room while he worked on us, unless he sent one of us to another room for a special treatment. We knew each other's demons and stood witness to the Doc clearing some of them off. We had nothing to hide from each other. After you've been through purgatory together, seen the breakdowns and the sickness, there's not much left to be uncomfortable about.

It would be weird being at the Doc's without Mom. But in some ways, a relief because we wouldn't have to worry about her.

How was Mom?

Was Mom comfortable?

Did Mom need anything?

Does she need to be cleaned up?

Did she drink her juice?

Did she take all her nutritional supplements?

What's Mom doing?

Does she need anything?

What time is it?

Is it time to make another juice?

Does she need to be walked to the bathroom?

Does Dad have any new war wounds on him?

When she was in the Hospital, there was a whole staff taking care of her. When she was home, it was Dad and I. We didn't have any special schooling on care-giving or healing. We were basically winging it.

All we had to guide us through was our love for her, each other, and the faith that there were other avenues for healing. But we weren't experts. Or Gods. We were human beings trying to figure out a way through this shit hole to the other side.

The Doc muscle tested me and it turned out I was running a viral infection. He said no Drops in my eyes and no smoke. All sorts of emotions came up. The biggest one was that I felt like I was in a prison. I was, of sorts.

Hospice delivered a special mattress for Mom that we put on top of my Parents mattress. Since Mom was all skin and bones it would give her a little more cushion. So Mom was one mattress up from Dad. They couldn't exactly snuggle anymore. But she'd be more comfortable.

I spent most of every day inside, taking care of Mom. I didn't do walks anymore unless Dad was home too. Normally I was either too busy running around doing chores or trying to catch up on my own therapy and healing.

Every day it was like trying to play catch up. Time was no longer my friend. Leisure days were a thing of the past. Not since the foreclosure I had stopped to relax and catch my breath. I hadn't been on a vacation since 2006. It was a run yourself right into the ground type of life.

Me: Need photos of Mom...when u get a chance. & tell the hospital NO GRAINS, no ensure, no dessert FOR MOM. She's on sort of paleo/vegan diet. LOTS OF VEGES, some protein/legumes, little fruit.

Dad: Mom has been moved upstairs out of ICU.

Me: Brother is coming up on Thursday. Leaving in a.m.



Days in Hospital: 1

Unknown cause of abdominal pain. Waiting....

If you want to send positive thoughts, prayers, we're asking for them specifically towards Mom clearing up & forgiving any old emotional baggage she is carrying that is hindering her healing. She has to let go in order to heal.


Mom is out of ICU & has been moved to a room. She has pneumonia. Dad gave directives on her diet. No results yet. Something is eating her blood. She's going to have another blood transfusion today. She's gonna be there a few days, at least. Dad likes her Dr.s. & they are open to our input on Moms behalf (contrast to 3 months ago stint at hospital). Some people looked at us liked we'd lost our minds, when we started down this path of healing for Mom. Now we have doctors and nurses impressed with what we've been doing...all starting with a suggestion from one of my cousin's to Gerson Therapy (where we got idea for juicing), and a recommendation to read the book "Super Immunity" by Joel Fuhrman (highly recommend to anyone looking to improve their health). Her restraints have been removed. But she is still on morphine for the pain and very uncomfortable. Dad said she's mean as ever (being off her supplements again is going to cause her to be angry). She's got a fighting spirit. They believe something is obstructing her lower intestines, cause unknown. Did a CT Scan today, results pending. The surgeon does not believe cutting her open for an invasive surgery would be a good idea, given her current physical fragile state. We've had to discuss with the hospital, end of life wishes of Mom. No fun. Dad & I have been sole caregivers to Mom, pretty much on our own (we had part time help from a great caregiver for about a month) for the past 70 days, on call 24/7. Its been the two of us caring for her be okay, and having no life of our own. Hands down, the toughest job...ever. I kid you not, she's kicked our asses too! Lol But there are moments we've shared, in our little shanty shack, among our threesome group of untrained out-on-the-edge seekers of healing, on top of this mountain, that I wouldn't trade for anything. I told Dad, if I were sick, I'd want our motley crew of misfits caring for me too!

Blessings to you & yours,

c :)

Weekly Produce Buy

1 25lb bag juicing carrots

4 heads napa cabbage

2 bunches dandelion greens

3 bunches mustard greens

2 fennel

3 bunches red beets

3 bunches green onions

1 bunch parsley

3 heads red leaf lettuce

7 bunches collard greens

6 bunches red russian kale

1 bunch red radish

1 bunch dill

1 lb daikon

1 bunch chard

3 lbs tomatillos

1 leek

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