The front entrance of Collin's home rings. His house is quaint. Normal. Boring. Dull. He hated it. He hated a lot of things. Hate was a strong word. He knows it.
That's why he uses it.
He stomps inside. Wishing his mom was home just so he can vent to her. Tell her how much he hates his school. Maybe it would maker her feel guilty enough to let him transfer back. A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation. That's the feeling he wished he could make his mother feel.
His mother was a strong woman though. She held in her emotions tightly. She showed love in odd ways. She was never vulnerable. Maybe that was the reason he was close to his mother. They both acted as onions. You had to peel off a layer at a time.
He wasn't a mama's boy. But he did lean in more of her favor. He loved his parents equally, he could just related with her more. She knew small things about him. He loved it when fingers went through his hair. The feeling put him in bliss. She knew, that he knew where she hid the sweets. She would always turn the head and pretend that he was sneaky enough to get past her. They both knew each other knew, but they kept it that way.
The home was empty.
He wouldn't be able to put, the only woman he loved in his life in sorrow. Why would one put someone they love down? He wanted her to feel his pain, he wanted something out of the achievement. To go back to his old school.
And he wanted that bad.
Turning around he sees his father emerge. His father was as whipped as he was. Different reasons yet the same reasons. Collin's father's reason was work and his wife. Collin's reason was his school work and his mother. Same yet different.
Mr. Jarvis' would do anything for his wife. Well he used to. The spark wasn't there anymore. Poof, gone. It was a lingering love where it comes and goes. He still loved the woman that he shared a bed with, there just wasn't any passion in the bed he shared. The child on the way had him worrying. Which resulted to work. Money was an issue, an issue they were lacking in.
Collin was caught up in life and worrying too much on the now. He wasn't a kid. He just didn't realize he still needed to be one. He needed to let go. Enjoy life, make the best at what you have. He needed to enjoy the now, go with the flow. But only if it was that easy. He felt as his stress was his mother's doing. She was the resource to his problems. His problems were not big at all he just made them colossal. He exaggerated.
"Why can't I go back? Why? What do I need to do?" He said to his father. He tried not to raise his voice. Collin wasn't happy or angry her was lost which was turning into irritation. He wanted everything to go his way. He needed this change to his life, even if the boy refused to have it.
"Collin," Mr.Jarvis sighed. He had a long day, and to add to the stress he has his son mad with him. "look it's for the better, I can't handle this argument right now. Wait till your mother gets home." His father walked past him to the master.
Collin felt misunderstood, angry, but above all depressed.
His father just brushed him off like dust. Not even a second thought. He didn't know what he had gone through that day. Collin has the worst day of his life and he felt like it was just going to go on repeat throughout the rest of the year. A Cycle. He started off with being embarrassed in geometry, the next catastrophe that occurred was lunch. During lunch he had sat on a toilet eating a turkey sub. He had gotten weird glances, spitballs spat on him, and not one nice remark from a teacher all day. He was even ignored by Cassidy. One day was enough. He couldn't have a whole semester goes this way.
"Is that what happens now? You need mom to decide everything for you?" The child bangs on his parent's bedroom door. In hopes to upset his father. It works.
"Listen boy, I don't need you to yell at the man who is giving you a better future. Get your ass in room before I need to teach you a lesson." Collin had never seen this side of his father.
He scampers to his room terrified. It could have been a bluff he didn't harm the boy. Didn't lay a finger on him either. Just yelled in his face. It still terrified him. Collin, his mother, no one had ever seen so much raw emotion from the man. Until today.
Taking slow breaths Collin sits on his bed. Is it worth it? Put his family in stress. He wanted to create something to stir up his life. A little rain but not a thunderstorm.
He was in need of an adventure.
Pasta. Angel hair pasta. That is what the Jarvis family ate every Monday night. It reminded him of the girl's hair he saw today in geometry. He never received a name. He didn't know if he wanted one. He felt as if he'd seen an angel. She hadn't belonged there she deserved better than some private school. He didn't speak a word to or about her, but he sure did think about her.
"Honey, sit up straight. Tell me about your day"
Collin didn't reply how could he? Staying silent was the best answer. He didn't look up from his dinner. The salad was screaming for him to tell his mother calmly. He had never lied to his parents. When he looked up his eyes instantly looked into his fathers. Unreadable. Sadness, regret, yet angry at his child.
Screeching his chair backwards he leaves the dinner table.
Clearing his plate in the sink his mother walk in behind him.
"Alright Lenny, what happened and who'd you meet?" Collin's mother was always straight to the point. Very blunt woman. It was something Collin wasn't. He was glad also that he didn't inherit that trait. His mother could always read him so well, he didn't know how but she did.
"I didn't meet anyone" It was true. He didn't make a friend he sat alone in every class
"Who's the girl?" How did she? He thought.
"I don't know, mom" Shrugging his mom strays away content with the answers she had received. She knows the look a boy gives while he thinks a girl. She was raised with 5 brothers. It was a crazy house hold. Strict parents too. Too bad they were delinquents, everyday was basically a new punishment. The storys stayed with the siblings forever though. They were the types of stories to be passed on and on every generation.
A story about how their horse left their house and went to the grocery store eating all the carrots. Another about her days on the farm and how her brother shot the family's cow by accident. All of the stories were crazy in her life but she wanted things average, slow, consistent, just normal. She was done with those days, sadly she didn't think about how that her only son would never experience those days.
Collin wouldn't have any crazy memories with a sibling. Well he might now but it's too late. When he becomes a senior the baby will have his first birthday. There wasn't much of a chance for crazy tales with a brother or a sister.