Chances That You're Burning Through

Original | Chapter Three

"Well, you better try if you know what's good for you," Demi warns.

I snicker.

"You too little miss," She says, causing me to grow silent.

She saunters into the store with a triumphant smile while us girls trail behind her like two dogs with their tails between their legs.

"Anabelle, I can totally see you wearing this!" Rebecca exclaims, holding up a dress.

I glance over the dress. The skirt is plain black while the top is glittery. On the top of the dress is a purple triangle with a white cheetah face. It's really pretty, but I'm too ugly to wear it. I shake my head.

"I don't think it's my style," I say.

"Are you kidding? Just try it on, please," She begs.

"No."

"Why not?"

Because I'm too fat.

"Because I just don't want to."

"Mom, tell  Anabelle that she would look gorgeous in this dress," Rebecca orders, gaining Demi's attention.

"Try it on for me?" Demi hopefully questions.

With a heavy sigh, I grab the hanger along with the dress from Rebecca and head to the dressing rooms. Locking the door behind me, I strip out of my dress and look in the mirror. Simply looking at my reflection causes my eyes to tear up. I hate myself. I'm so repulsive. As my vision blurs from tears that I refuse to let fall, I scramble for my purse that holds my blade. I unzip the tiny pouch lining the inside of the purse. The sharp edge of my blade grazes my fingertips. I retrieve the blade and quickly glide it across my side three times. I don't cut deep enough to draw blood, but I do scratch the skin. I decide to cut deeper when we return home. I return the blade and change into the dress that Rebecca picked out. I step out to find Demi and Rebecca searching through racks just outside of the dressing rooms.

"It's too big," I inform, causing them to look up at me.

"It's a small," Rebecca says in a flabbergasted tone.

"Well, it's too big," I repeat with a shrug.

Maybe the size got printed wrong? There is no way that a small is too large on my fat self.

"I'll go look for something in a zero," Rebecca tells us, walking away in a dazed state.

I look at Demi who appears to be on the verge of tears.

"Are you okay?" I question.

She nods with a fake smile.

"Change back into your other dress, and we'll find you something that'll fit."

I do as she says and quickly return to them.

"Find anything?" I ask.

"Nothing except for that same dress in a zero," Rebecca replies, thrusting the dress in my direction.

I take it and return to the dressing rooms to quickly change into it.

"It's still too big."

"How?"

"It just is!" I snap without meaning to.

Rolling my eyes, I decide to wait by the entrance as Demi and Rebecca purchase their items. 

"Where to next?" Demi questions, as if nothing ever happened.

"Aeropostale?" Rebecca suggests.

I stay silent as we make our way to the store. I steer clear of Demi and Rebecca as I search the racks. I find a sheer panel sweater in an extra small. I try it on and return to Demi and Rebecca.