I place the note on my pillow, visible for anyone to see when they walk into my room. I sit on the side of my bed and stare out the window, waiting for the sun to go down.
Pitch black. Time to go. I put on a black hoodie, leggings and converse. I slowly go down the stairs, making sure the floor boards don't creak.
I crawl out the window so I don't unlock any door and run. Everything speeds past me, trees are giant green blurs. Nothing else was on my mind other than ending my life.
I get to the building and go up the stair case, to the balcony. Once I'm up there I look around. I spot the worn out bench, plants attempting to grow around it. The bench Gerard and I would play guitar at. I smile to myself as a tear slides down my cheek.
I look off into the city. Lights are slowly turning off, one by one. I walk forward and touch the railing before climbing over. I reach my hands backwards to grip the railing. I take a deep breath and decide to count to one hundred. I have to admit, I was scared. But after one hundred I was going to jump.
It was 10:06pm and I decided I should check on Peyton. I walk out of my office and head down the hall. I knock on Peyton's door, no reply. I crack open the door a little.
"Hello?" I ask.
I let myself in and the first thing that catches my eye is a sheet of paper sat on Peyton's pillow. I walk over there with a confused look on my face. I pick up the note and read it. My eyes scan the words as my breathing gets heavy. After I finish I find myself in tears.
"No." I manage to say before rushing to her bathroom.
I was prepared to see her dead on the floor. I didn't want to see that, I crossed my fingers so tight that they feel broken. I open the door. She's not there.
I know where she is.
I drop the note to the floor and run. I leave the house, with the door wide open. I run until I can't feel my legs. I stop and look up into the sky, breathing heavy. I see that the building is ahead and I push myself to run a little longer.
I get to the building and go up the stairwell. Nearly slipping each step. I reach the top and turn my head to see Peyton standing on the edge. I open my mouth, thinking I'm going to scream. I was so scared.
"Don't. Please." I hear and immediately turn my head to see Gerard.
I break into tears. The tears that I've been holding in all this time.
"I have to. You read the note? It's the best for you." I say between sobs.
"You're not tearing this family apart. Believe it or not, you've saved me just as much as I've saved you." Gerard yells against the sirens and blowing wind.
"How did I save you? I got you stabbed Gerard!" I scream, my back facing him.
"I was depressed again Peyton! I found you in the hospital because I was there to pick up anti depressants. I lied to my family about being happy. I know how you feel, and I'm not trying to sound like someone who has no idea what it feels like to be in a pool continuously drowning. I was your hero! You were mine but you didn't know that. We didn't come up here to play guitar for nothing. We came here because music and each other are the only way we can be saved. I'm trying to save you and even though you said I do that to much, I'm going to keep doing it until infinity. And you're going to save me to because you're a hero. Hero's don't quit, we carry on."
I swallow and burst into tears all over again.
"I'm quitting if I don't do this!" So I'm doing it, and you can't stop me." I say, trying to sound confident.
"If you do this, I'm doing it with you. Peyton, please don't jump, I don't want to die."