Chapter 9

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Katherine Sparks. The name alone had over 60 million hits on Google. "Katherine Sparks' best looks" "Katherine Sparks' funniest moments" "Katherine Sparks' beauty secrets". I flicked through page after page, even finding pictures of Katherine when she was a gap toothed twelve year old.

Katherine was a Nickelodeon  star, but unlike most of them, when she turned 18 she did nothing to shed that image of pure bred innocence. I watched YouTube videos, Katherine Sparks trying to rap a Nicki Minaj song, Katherine Sparks on Ellen, Katherine Sparks pays for a fan's college tuition. She was exactly  what the definition of nice should be.

I went back to Google and with my fingers trembling typed in "Katherine Sparks and Jake Turner" . With the slightest of hesitations I hit send. "2015's most beautiful couple" "Kake hits the red carpet" "Kake go shopping in Paris". There were pictures of them arm in arm. Jake holding her hand the way he held mine. Jake looking at her the way he looked at me, and her looking back at him just the same.

Looking at all the evidence it was clear that Jake had someone else, someone skinnier and sweeter and more beautiful than me. So naturally it made all the sense in the world why he hadn't called.

After Katherine had told me her name I had walked to reception with my best poker face and asked one of the other employee's to call Jake's suite. I had then rushed to my room, closed my curtains and lain face down on my bed with my head on my pillow. It had taken me a few more minutes than I'd like to admit to open up my laptop and do a little research.

As much as emotion had told me before that I wasn't good enough logic told me that once I'd done my research everything would be fine. I'd find that Katherine and Jake had amicably split some months ago and now she was here on a friendly visit. I didn't find that. Instead I found pictures of them snuggling at a baseball game, dated two weeks before and no hint or trace of a break up or argument since.

I had lost a game I didn't even know I was playing. I had lost the fight to be an ordinary girl in a superstar's life. Regardless of whatever made him call me over and ask to hang out with me again, it didn't matter cause in the end he had chosen her. A girl he had known since he was sixteen. A girl who knew him when he was the awkward little brother on a sitcom, a girl he had memories and mutual friends with. I had to face it; they had six years worth of history and I'd known him for less than a week.

It's at times like that when you realise just how few friends you have. Anyone I'd known from high school would probably be busy with a class or an assignment and it would be incredibly stupid of me to think that that was worth interrupting with a call from me. As friendly as I was with the other employers at the resort I was pretty sure they still saw me as the bosses' kid.   I shut my laptop and pulled my knees in closer. Why was I so broken?  I had been fine before he came along, surely I could be fine afterward. But I didn't know how I could. Just being in Jake's presence made me feel like I was somewhere else, a world where the only thing that existed where us and all the possibilities that that could bring. Now with him gone all I could see was the reality of the prison I had created for myself. It was then I made my decision. I removed my fists from my mouth and my knees from my chest. I wiped the tears threatening to escape from my eyes and opened my laptop and searched: "Photography schools America".

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