Never Enough

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Chapter 36 - Rachel Stark

"Girlfriend?" I ask, all hope leaving my body. Sharon giggles and looks up to Steve.

"Yeah, he asked me on a date a few months back. We've been together ever since." she says with a smile. Steve's gaze averts to the ground. "Oh, and since you guys were living together, Steve moved all of your stuff to the Avenger's tower and then moved in with me." she finishes, flashing me a smirk and a death stare. Ever since the night that Fury 'died', I knew she hated me. The way they looked at each other and the way they worked together, I should have known I didn't have a chance. Steve looks back up at me, his eyes begging for approval.

"Um... Congratulations... you guys." I say, trying to fake excitement. They both smile, so they must've bought it.

"Well, since you are really skinny and bruised, we'll leave you alone." Sharon says with fake smile on her face. She gives a small wave and walks out of the room. Steve mouths a quick sorry and follows her out. What did I miss? Not to sound stuck up and bratty, but I thought we both had a secret love for each other. I know I loved him. I thought he kind of liked me. How did he move on? I just don't understand. A knock at the door shocks me out of my thoughts.

"Hey! I saw Steve and Sharon walk out. I'm just here to answer any questions you might have." Bruce says.

"I have three questions. The first is, how did I get my powers?" I ask.

"Well, the first time we injected you with the super soldier serum, it bonded with your DNA. We think the extra strand that was bonded was what triggered your powers. The night you discovered your powers, were you feeling some sort of extreme emotion?" Bruce asks. I think back to all those months ago.

"I was. I was in a rage about Steve being injured. I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life. " I say. Bruce nods.

"Your rage must have been extremely severe. Your chemicals must've been out of balance as well." he trails off.

"Well, yeah they were unbalanced. I just got done fighting HYDRA. My adrenaline was through the roof." I say, gears turning in my head.

"So the combination of rage and serum created your powers. Do you have any idea what they harness?" Bruce asks. I smile and slowly move my hands to the center of my chest, cupping them to show off my powers. Electricity shocks off of my hands. Bruce steps back in awe.

"Electric." he breathes. I chuckle and stop my powers. He chuckles as well, shaking off his shock. Haha, get it? Shock? "What was your second question?" Bruce asks.

"Oh, right, um, so with the introduction of serum to my body, the amount of serum in my body is matched to the amount in Steve's, right?" Bruce nods. "So, I can't age?" I ask. Bruce sighs and frowns slightly.

"No, unfortunately not. Anything else?"

"When did Steve start having a thing for Sharon?" I ask. Bruce turns beet red. His hand flies to the back of his neck. He rubs his neck and looks at me.

"You noticed that, huh?" he asks. I roll my eyes and nod.

"Bruce, before I was this enhanced person, I was a spy. Of course I noticed it. Plus, she paraded him in here with her hand in his. It was obvious." I say, holding back my emotions. He must notice because he slowly walks to the chair that's next to my bed and sits down. He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks. I shake my head. He nods and stands up. "Do you want me to get Natasha?" I smile and nod. He smiles, pats my shoulder, and walks out. I sit quietly, waiting for Natasha. I have so much to say to her. So much girl talk to persue. And what am I going to say to Tony? How has he been? Has he been drinking? How's Pepper? Did he know about Steve and Sharon? I am interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I say. The door opens slowly to reveal Natasha, in jeans and... one of Clint's t-shirts? Alright, I seriously missed so much. She runs over to me, and spares no time to fling her arms around me.

"Rachel! I'm so glad you are alright! I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Fury told me about a potential threat in Seoul. I had to undercover for weeks to root him out. That's why I wasn't around to help. You took down S.H.I.E.L.D. and then were held at HYDRA? AND now you have powers? What's going on with that?" she spits out all in one muddled mess. I chuckle, trying to take in all the words that she had just said. I look down to her shirt.

"So... You and Clint? And Sharon and Steve?" I ask. Natasha doesn't answer. I wait a few minutes to speak again. "I'm fine. I was taken a few hours after my press conference with the defence staff. They ran tests and did experiments and put me through pain. But I'm fine. I can take my share of beatings. You know that. But the whole time I was there, I was thinking about this day. What I would say to Steve. How I would say it. What he would say to me. And when I realized I was here, he was the first person I wanted to see. I was ready to confess my feelings when he walked through that door but then..." I break down. Tears begin to fall down my face. "He was sitting in that chair, looking at me, like I... I was important to him. But then she walked in. I knew it. I knew that I wasn't going to be enough. I never am enough. Not for Steve, or for my parents, or for Tony. Mind as well give up now on the whole impressing everybody act because clearly, I've never impressed anyone in my life. I'm so done being two stops short from perfect. And now I can't age! Not really an enticing attribute for a woman to have."

"Hey. Stop right now. You've always impressed me. You are incredibly smart, you have a quick wit, you kick ass, and you are the strongest person I've ever met. You survived David, twice. You beat the Winter Soldier. And you survived in HYDRA for months. PLUS now you have powers. You are quite amazing. There's no need to cry over a guy. Sure, he caused you pain, but you can cause him so much more. You are just like him now. You can show him everything he could have if he was with you instead of that bitch Sharon." Nat says. I sniffle and wipe the tears from my face.

"You think she's a bitch too?" I say quietly. She bursts out laughing. I giggle slightly, still feeling a bit blue.

"Girl, literally all of the Avengers hate her. We thinks she's awful. You guys would make such a better couple." she finishes with a smile. I give a small nod. She touches my face. "Get some rest. You could use it." she says, walking out of the room. Once she's gone, I start to cry again. I try to think of other things. But I can't. All I can think of is "Why wasn't I good enough?"


Awhile after Natasha came in, Tony visited. He was worried about my injuries and about my tears. I waved him off, told him I was fine. But I wasn't. I buried myself in weapons research, and the news for weeks. Recovery was four weeks to be exact. Steve and Sharon held strong. I also kept seeing Natasha in Clint's shirts. But I still could barely walk. Steve wasn't around much to help with my rehab so I relied on Clint. I told him about everything. The pain, the torture, the nightmares, my new emotional hell. I just didn't understand why it was eating me up so much. But today, on my release from the infirmary, I finally understand. I am so broken over Steve because he is the first person who I truly loved and cared for. And now he's gone

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