I love him

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My dad...well what can I say...or better said...where do I start.
He is the most caring man and beautiful sensitive soul I've met in my life. And I'm not saying this because he is my dad.
My name's James McCartney by the way so...now I'm sure you can all guess who my dad is.

My dad is not only famous for his music, but also for his good looks, his bubbly personality and his loving character.
Only people don't often get to see the other side of him like close family, friends and I do... The side that caries a pain that may never be healed.
At some moments he shows this side...

For example. One morning a few years ago was one of those moments where I could see right through him. Cause I know that behind his happy smile there is a deep intens pain...
I was fifteen years old back then and I was still in high school.
I was trying to do my math homework that morning, but I just didn't get it done.
Let me take you back to that moment...

"Hi son" dad greeted me walking into the kitchen where I sat in the big dining table.
"Hey dad" I smiled at him.
"How's homework going?" he asked standing behind me and glancing over my shoulder.
"Uh...not so good actually..." I confessed scratching the back of my head.
"Math huh?" he asked sitting down next to me.
"Yeah... I suck at it..." I sighed.
"Let me see if I can help you out" he offers and takes my book to see what it's about.
I look at his face and chuckle when I see his famous eyebrows raise higher and higher by the minute before he let's out a heavy sigh.
"I really don't understand a bloody thing of this..." he confesses scratching the back of his head now too. Gosh... I'm so much like him!
"Maybe you should ask your mo..." he starts to say, but abruptly stops mid sentence. His big doe eyes, which is also one of the things he past onto me, turn sad and I can see them starting to burn with tears.
Right at that moment my sister Mary walks in.
"Hi dad! Hi bro!" she greets us and kisses dad's cheek.
"Hi baby" my dad greets her with a weak smile while he stands up from the table.
"You okay daddy?" Mary asks concerned also noticing our dad's sad eyes.
"I'm okay sweetheart..." he answers lost in deep thought "...could you help your brother with his math homework?"
"Of course I can!" she answers and sits down next to me "You're sure you're alright daddy?" she asks looking over her shoulder.
He nods before leaving us behind in the kitchen. Not much later we hear him play the piano and singing his song 'calico skies'. One of the many songs he wrote for our mom.

Okay, you all are probably wondering why I'm telling you this...
Let me explain to you.
My mom died a few years ago...and we still miss her so much. It's a pain that I'm afraid will never go away.
That morning when the math situation happened I could so clearly see the pain in my dad's eyes.
My sister Mary had told me why dad was so broken all of a sudden that morning.
This is what she told me...

When I was doing my homework one day, daddy came asking me how I was doing. It was also with my math homework.
He tried so hard to understand the whole thing and trying to explain it to me that he didn't notice mom standing behind us.
She was looking at him with so much love in her eyes while watching him struggle.
After a few more minutes dad sighed deeply and told me that I should better ask mom.
When she made her precence known he was looking back up to her with so much love in his eyes too that it really moved me.

It was the reason why he got so upset. Because it made him think back of mom again.
I don't think I've never seen two people fit so perfectly together like mom and dad did.
Why was she taken from us so soon...
I still don't understand. She was my dad's soulmate and together with her a big part of him died with her.

I remember all the love they gave us and how warm and good it felt to be with them.
Always hugging each other, or that one hand resting on each other's leg or arm. They were always connected.
I hope to find love like theirs someday.

When mom died my dad was so broken and devistated.
The first night after her death my dad, after all these years, had to sleep alone without her.
They've only been apart for eight nights during their relationship and that was when my dad was in jail.

I remember checking in on him to see how he was coping that first night.
When I walked into the room he was lying on mom's side of the bed clutching her pillow and crying.
He hadn't cried in our presence yet and had tried to be strong for us the whole time.
Seeing him like that broke my heart.
I laid down next to him and held him in my arms for as long as he needed me to... till he finally fell asleep. I stayed with him for the rest of the night.

Knowing how much it had helped him, I slept in the bed with him for a long time. Sometimes joined by one or both my sisters.
We all tried to get a part of him back with us and prayed to our mom to not take dad away from us.

A few years later he was with that Heather woman and I didn't like her one bit. And that's also how my sisters feel about that dreadful woman
She has a wooden leg by the way...
That might be sad, but she's tried to pull out one of my dad's legs too of you ask me. Bloody gold digger.
I saw nothing of that love with them like with my mom.
I'm really glad my dad left her again..ugh...
Our new little sister Beatrice is the only good thing she left my dad and us.

Thankfully he is with Nancy now. She was friends with mom and knew her from the cancer clinic.
She makes my dad so happy. I love her and the way dad looks at her. Not like how he looked at mom, but no one could ever replace her. And unlike Heather she's not trying to. Yeah... Nancy is wonderful.

Sometimes I do get tired of everybody asking questions about my dad when they give me an interview.
He understands this perfectly and always tries to cheer me up and tell me not to answer those questions if I don't feel like it.
I'm trying to build up my own music career, but it's really hard when you're always in the shadow of my dad, Paul McCartney the cute Beatle.
Even now in his older age, women swoon and scream more for him then for me...
But that's okay, cause he's my dad and I love him.

James

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