M R . P R I C E | O C T . 7 t h , 1 9 9 6
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"We're pregnant," she told me, both eyes wide as the sun with her pregnancy test clenched in her right hand. She stood in the dimness of the hallway which made her expression look that much more puzzled.
"We're what?" I blurted out from the living room loveseat, my head twisting around to see my girlfriend more clearly.
"Pregnant," she said, slower this time, audible shattering in her voice, "I'm pregnant."
Pregnancy was something we definitely didn't want to face this early in our relationship. I've only known Megan for five months and now we're expecting a child together? Where did I go wrong?
I spent the next few days determining the reason why my girlfriend was knocked up. We always used protection, I always pulled out regardless, and we only had sex three times.
My logic and reasoning boiled down to a broken condom as the culprit—that was the only way. It just proves that you can never be safe enough.
I spent the next few weeks catering to Megan, who was obviously a mess from this unwanted pregnancy.
"Should we get an abortion?" She asked me one cold, November night. I was taken back by her question.
"Well, no, but it's really up to you," I said in a gentle voice. Her mood swings were already kicking in.
"If we do it now, the baby is probably the size of a chia seed," she told me as she stared down at her invisible baby bump.
A chia seed. That chia seed was my child.
"No, no, I don't think you should," I quickly retorted and desperately tried to change her mind.
She glanced up at me, her eyes off of her stomach for a few seconds.
"I really want to," she said with heavy eyes, "I don't want a child. It wouldn't be fair to them."
I sighed loudly and found myself glancing at her stomach this time. "Sleep on it for a few nights," I told her as I headed down the hallway to bed.
I thought of my chia seed, as stupid as that sounds.
A P R I L 1 4 t h , 1 9 9 7
Spring was in the air, the careless wind promising new life to everything it caressed. It was a really hard winter dealing with Megan, but her baby bump made it all worth it. I had the due date marked on all of my calendars.
One morning, we sat down at the kitchen table together. Megan had an uneasy look on her face for a few weeks now and it made me worried. Were we losing the baby? Did she feel something that made her worried?
"Michael, we really need to talk," she told me as her hand delicately covered the top of mine on the table.
"Okay," I said quietly and patiently.
Her eyes were full of sorrow and stress.
"I have decided to give the baby to social services once it's born. I'm going to get put under so I won't even feel anything or see anything or—" her voice trailed off.
I felt my head shift as I opened my eyes wider.
"My baby?" I asked, leaning into the kitchen table.
Megan just nodded.
"You're giving away my baby?" I asked again, my head collapsing into my hands this time. I was so excited to be a father, even though it wasn't even planned.
"But I just got a raise at work and we can make this work out, you know, we can get through this together," I pleaded to my girlfriend.
Megan began shaking her head and I watched her face twist into something beyond sadness. Tears were welling up in her eyes and I realized that this wasn't an easy decision for her, either.
"Michael—listen to me—we're too young to be responsible for a child. We aren't married and who knows what will happen between us in the future. This baby was a mistake and you can't deny that," she said while sniffling.
I thought about her words and felt my heart drop in my chest. I didn't want to think of my baby as just a mistake.
"This baby doesn't deserve us. We're just two people who didn't even want it," she told me again.
My heart was broken.
"Megan, this baby does deserve us. It's our baby!" I raised my voice slightly to get my point across.
"No, Mike. I can't do it. I'm not ready," she told me as a tear streaked down her left cheek.
Megan left the table and grabbed some papers, returning a few seconds later. She had a pen in her other hand.
"Please just sign this, please. By the end of the week, okay? I'll keep it here," Megan said as she wiped her cheek and got up from the table again to go upstairs.
The papers took away my legal right to the child so he or she can be put up for adoption after birth.
I didn't want to sign them, but I thought about it for a long time when I was alone without Megan around.
Maybe she was right, we were too young for this and we did everything to prevent this - yet here we are.
I signed the papers later that night.
Maybe someday I could track my child down and we could get to know eachother like in those movies.
Maybe someday finding my child would be worth it.
Hello and welcome to my new story! It's not perfect yet but I really hope you enjoy it. Comments and votes are appreciated!
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